To Thy Self Be True

Chapter One

I sat at the top of the cliffs, tears streaming down my face. I hadn't had much choice. If I didn't break his heart, I knew he would never give up.

Sam Carne wasn't one for giving up without a fight. He had already tried to win a lady's hand in a Cornish Wrestling match, only for her to go and marry another man. He already knew heartache and now I had added to it. Maybe at least he had his faith, he could always rely on that. I couldn't help but admire him, but I couldn't bring myself to make the dedication he had wanted me to. I had a belief in God, in a higher power, but not to the extent that Sam did. It was his whole life. He was so passionate. I wasn't willing to give up my lifestyle for a lower one of service as a preacher's wife.

As I sat watching the sun slowly set and the clouds move in bringing rain, my only wish was that I hadn't done it so publicly.

Why hadn't I done it somewhere quieter?

Not only had I broke his heart, but I had publicly humiliated him too.

There was no going back.

Why did I have to fall in love with him?

It would have been easier if I had stayed in London and met my future husband.

Lord Warren was a good man with prospects, it was the perfect match?

Rain began to fall hard as my tears flowed, if only I hadn't come to Cornwall. If only my mother hadn't died.

I closed my eyes and remembered the ride from London to Killewarren the previous year.

Rain lashed down even then as the couch rolled along the road to Killewarren, hitting every bump as it went, tossing my tired body around the empty carriage. I had no desire to move to Cornwall, nor did I have any desire to live with my Cousin, but now with both my parent's dead and no other family I had little choice. All I could hope for was that Cornwall wouldn't be boring. I had spent a few joyous summers in Cornwall when Cousin and I were children, staying with our Uncle, but to live there was something new. When my Cousin wrote to me in London she did not mince her words. I was to marry once I had been in Cornwall a year. Marriage was not something I wanted either, but I knew I couldn't survive without it. I was nothing like my Cousin, I wasn't an heiress, I only had the small allowance my parents had left me. Although I did not want marriage I could see the advantage of such a thing, but I would rather marry for love than money. Cousin Caroline had recently married below her station, even as an heiress I couldn't help but admire her for it. Dwight Enys sounded like a well-rounded man who had fought and been captured by the French, but his best friend had gone to rescue him. I felt a twinge of excitement at the thought of meeting the newly elected member of parliament that had gone to rescue his friend but knew those meetings would have to wait. First, I would have to get myself acquainted with Killewarren again.

The grand house came into view and so did my new life.

The coach stopped outside, and the footman opened the door, offering his hand to me. Taking it, I stepped out and glanced up, never in my whole time in London had anywhere come close to the beauty of Killewarren. Swans swam in the small pond on the front and the gulls were circling overhead, looking for their next meal. I had to admit it was blissful.

The front door opened, and Cousin Caroline came running out, arms opened ready to pull me into a tight hug.

"It's so good to see you Lilith," she grinned letting me go.

"You also Cousin."

"Come on inside," she instructed leading the way.

I followed her through the entry and out into the welcome room.