"Do you have a tape?" I asks.
"Why? I think I have one in my office."
"I need to tape something together with this box."
She went out again and bring me a tape.
"Thank you!" I nod to her.
"Yeah, goodluck!"
...
I stop infront of a tall building, before getting out, I see myself my rear mirror to fix myself. I fix my cap and sigh deep before stepping outside my car. Carrying the box, I look straight forward.
"Goodmorming Ms. Kim." The guard greeted me, he already know me because of Lisa.
"Morning too." I smile before passing him. He return a smile with a nod.
I step inside the elevator and push the top button floor. When the elevator starts to move, my heart is getting more and more nervouse. My hands are sweating, my forehead is sweeting. I feel so suffocated inside here, but at the same time I'm being a coward again. Just by thinking of how mad Jennie will be, feels like I want to burry myself alive. But I need to do this, I need to. The elevator chimed, and for the ninth time I sigh deeply to calm myself.
Getting closer to her office, I heard a faint sound of yelling? Oh my god! Did I come in a wrong time? I think she's having a death scolding to one of her employees. I guld hard and for a second I had a second thought to back off.
"Get the fucking outta here!"
I flinched when I hear her voice. A crying girl went out of her office.
"Lord, save me." I murmur under my breath.
I raised my fist to knock, but I see it was trembling. Fuck, get yourself together Jisoo! This ain't the time to be afraid, it's just Jennie! A scary one. I closed my eyes and knocked three times.
"Whoever you are, fucking go away!" I heard her shout.
I bit my lip nervously and push the door.
"I told you--" she stopped for a second when our eyes meet.
It soften but became fierce again. A look that no one wants to see because it feels like she's killing whoever she's looking at.
"What are you doing here?" She girtted, holding back her anger.
"Hmm, h-here?" I stutter raising the box a bit.
She look into it with confused glint in her eyes.
"Cupcakes?" I added.
"Leave." She said instead, swirling her chair so that she's not facing me.
I sigh and drop my shoulder. No matter how hard you are, I'm gonna make you soft and make you hear me out and forgive me. Even it hurts so bad when she push me away.
"Look Jennie, I will never stop saying sorry not until you forgive me." I started, walking closer to her.
I placed the box on her table and stayed across her.
"If you just hear me out..." I say under my breath.
"I don't have time to listen on your shit because I have more problems to settle than this!" She seethe and turn around to face me.
"Jennie--"
"What can't you understand Jisoo? I don't wanna talk to you! I don't want to see you and if it's even posible I want you to get out of my life!" She burst out.
It echoes inside the room, her words made freeze. She looks so furious, and thats all I can see her eyes. It hurts to hear to those words. It crashes me, so painfully. My jaw tightens as a lump started to grow in my throat. It's giving me hard time to swallow, it hurts. My eyes started to water, but I look down and fix my cap to cover half of my face. So that she can't see me crying.
If I make a normal move, maybe she's not like this. Maybe we are still in good terms right now. Maybe I'm still contented with the smile she's showing. Maybe I'm still on her side, but I'm stupid. I let this happened, there's no one to blame except me. It's all my fucking fault! A single tear drop on the floor.
"I'm sorry if I did that to you." I whisper. "All I want is to be close with you. For you to know that I exist. Hoping that I will have a chance to get to know you, to see and hear you laugh. But I'm so dumb." I chuckled bitterly. "I lied, yes but it was just in a beginning. Everything that I do, it's all real. I'm sorry I lied..." I wipe my tears and meet her gaze. "...I just love you."
I whisper the last part, but I know it's enough for her to heard it. I left her office with streaming tears. I'm choking back my sobs and let all the pain out when I enter my car. I cried my heart out, I feel so mess. I can't be out of her life because I want her in my life. But if it makes her in peace, I will get out of her life. Even if it feels like putting my life out of this world.
...
Chapter 14
Start from the beginning
