Anthony• Book 2 ManxMan

•Forgiveness•

"Don't be sorry. Stop living with this guilt."

"I can't-" Fabian's lips touch my own as his hands wrap around the back of my head.

"I've always wanted to do this... it's time for me to go, and for you to wake up."

"No! No Fabian!-

No! Fabian! No- no-" my body jerks up and my hands are reaching out towards nothing.

"Anthony calm down!" Cedric's arms wrap around my upper body as he tries to calm my shaking.

"Cedric!" I sob into his arms and he tenses for a second.

"Anthony... is Fabian your first mate? What happened to him?"

"I killed him."

My eyes are wide open but my vision blurs and black spots appear.

•
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"He's opening his eyes doc." Cedric's face is the first thing I see, and his skin is the first thing I feel.

I sit up slowly and notice the aching in my body is gone. I move the blanket that was over me and my wound is gone as well. All that's left is smooth skin.

"You fucking idiot of a twin brother!" Logan storms into the room. "What the fuck Anthony! You little fucking-shitty-bitch-ass-fuck! I can't believe you! I should have known something was up. Then I hear not from you, nor Cedric, but from Wayne that you're in a fucking coma?"

"Coma? How long have I been out?" I ask no one in particular.

"3 days." Cedric responds. No wonder I don't feel anymore pain.

"Did you contact the council? What did they say?"

"They said nothing as of yet."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Believe me because I'm telling the truth. For some reason they don't want us to act yet. Wayne and I questioned their motives but they warned us not to. But as soon as they give us the go, Wayne will send Peshal, Logan, and Sarah to do the job."

"This is too big of a job for just them. Whoever this guy is, he isn't working alone. You heard the rogue just as clear as I did. He didn't even know who's in charge, that guy has who knows how many rogues working under him."

"They'll get the job done."

"Not without me they're not." I look towards Logan and he purses his lips together, "you're not going at this without me."

Logan puts his hands up, "hey I don't want to. But it's not up to me or the squad."

"You will not join them."

"It's not up to you either." Cedric's jaw ticks at that and oddly enough I get slightly turned on. At one point he notices and smirks. Is this dejavú or what.

"I will do whatever the council wishes I do. If they let you join them, I won't stop you. But if they don't, I'll do everything in my power to keep you here." The way Cedric looks at me, with those piercing green eyes... what the fuck is happening.

"Is there more sexual tension between you two or is it just me?" Logan asks. I want to sock him.

"Get out Logan." He rolls his eyes and does actually leave.

"Alright Anthony, do you feel any discomfort or pain?"

Discomfort, yes, but that's something else entirely. And I thank the goddess I have a blanket covering my lower region.

"No."

"Good. I'm going to take a blood test to see if the poison is out of your system entirely. In the meantime you are free to stay here or go to your room." I nod and just watch him take out a syringe. I relax myself so the needle can go in easily. He was done as soon as he started and after leaving the room, Cedric helps me stand up.

"I don't need your help, you know. I'm perfectly fine now."

"Two days ago you were having a seizure so excuse me for being overly cautious." I raise a brow at what I believe was sarcasm.

"You? Being sarcastic? Wow?" Cedric smirks as he takes my chin into his hand.

"I was very worried."

"I know. I saw how you reacted when Jude got shot."

"There you go again, bringing up Jude." His voice is deep and husky almost. I can't help but want to hear more.

"Force of habit." I take my chin away from his hand and I look somewhere that isn't him.

"Fabian, your mate, why did you kill him?" My heart beats painfully at the mention of his name.

I look up at Cedric, "how do you know...?"

"When you woke up before going into a coma, you screamed his name. You told me you killed him."

Fabian's face goes through my mind. There's no point in keeping this from Cedric any longer. He already knows I killed him. "Fabian was one of my targets. He was a target the council ordered to kill. I took the job and I shot him in the head."

The look on Cedric's face makes me mad, "don't give me that look. I don't need your sympathy, or your judgment. You're the one that murdered Arik's mate."

"I am not sympathizing with you, nor am I judging you."

"Then we're done here?" I ask it but I don't want an answer. I leave Cedric in the infirmary and I go straight to the kitchen. I feel like I hadn't eaten in ages. That's probably why my chi is so weak right now. I can barely feel it.

I need to get back to normal. I need to stop feeling the way I feel around Cedric. I don't want to fall in love with him. I don't deserve him. Fabian told me to forgive myself but I can't. I can't forgive the monster I've become.

-

Anthony you gotta stop torturing yourself and start loving Cedric. Smh why are my boys so stubborn?

I hope you enjoyed this somewhat longer chapter. Making up for the lack of updates. :D