I miss his smiles... LAMS (SEQUEL TO FAKE SMILES~)

1.

Alexs pov-

Its been two years since Johns death and im still effected by it. Maybe its casue I know its my fault.

I asked Eliza to marry me a few months ago. She said yes. Our wedding is in a month. I dont want her, I want John. I cant have him tho, cause his father hated him so fucking much, he has to go off and kill him...

Eliza was hella stressed about the wedding still, Angelica was mad at Eliza for marring me and peggy is... still not giving a fuck.

oh yea did I mention Angelica liked me? Yea that was a long talk with her..

I dont want eliza or angelica..

I wish john was still alive, I wish I never made the mistakes I did. All I wanted was a happy life with him but my dumbass messed it all up.

"mon ami, grey or black?" Laf asked me holding out two suits. "umm.." John would like the grey.. "grey" I said not looking him in the eyes. "Then go try it on.." Herc pushed me into the changing room. Laf is my groom men and herc is the flower girl.

We finish getting my suit and i go back to my place, I walk in and see Eliza. "Hey honey.. we need to talk.." Eliza said sitting down on the couch. Oh my god, maybe she will call off the wedding! i hope so.. "so ive been thinking and.." She said zoning out I told her to go on. "oh yea... c-can we maybe think about kids... soon!" She asked her eyes lighting up and a smile spredding across her face.

My eyes widen "ummm.. Eliza I dont want a kid so soon.. We are not even married yet.." I said looking down at the carpet. "oh.. well when?" She asked that spark in her eyes dying. "I dont know... A few year after we are married." I said rubbing the back of my neck. "oh.. I was hoping sooner.." She said her smile gone by now. "why.. so soon?" I questioned. She sighed "Daddy wants grand kids soon.." She wispered. "oh.." I wispered back. "Liz im just not ready for that.." I said putting my hands on hers. "It ok.." she says taking her hands away from mine. "imma go to sleep.. feel free to join me when ever..." She just nodded at my words..

Sigh..

what a mess..

Johns pov-

So...