Akira x Ryo | Oneshots

Insecurities

A/N
Hey people sorry I haven't wrote anything recently but some stuff has been happening but I feel inspired to write something so here we go.

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You ask me why I get so frustrated.
I say I don't know.

You ask me what's my problem.
I don't know that either.

You ask me why I'm crying.
I must look so pathetic to you.

You ask me why I don't get out of bed.
Because I'm not wanted anywhere.

You ask me why I don't ever help you with anything.
Because I'm afraid that I'll mess up.

You say that I remind you of someone you hate.
Does that mean you hate me too?

You shout if I don't get my act together that I can just leave.
Does that mean you don't want me here?

You see it one way.
I see it a different way.

You once asked me why I felt this way.
I gave you an honest answer.

You ignored that answer.
So I stopped asking for help.

You think my life is perfect.
I think it's a nightmare.

I try so hard to be who you want me to be.
I'll never be good enough.

How do I explain this feeling?
I can't so I lock it away in the hope to not bother you.

I isolate myself.
Then I get upset because I'm lonely.

You ask why was I acting strange.
If I tell you, you won't believe me.

You tell me the one thing that can cheer me up is bad for me.
Being me is bad for me.

You believe the things other people tell you.
Yet you never let me tell my side of the story.

When I'm upset I try to stop myself and cover my face.
Just because I don't want you to think I'm weak.

People say that you only mean well.
But I can't stop these doubts from flooding my head.

Sometimes I think about doing horrible things to myself.
But then I don't want to be a burden.

You hurt me in the ways you can't imagine.
But I'm still the one who has to say sorry.

Leave me alone.
Because I can't bear the thought of you seeing me like this.

These are only some of the things I can never tell you

I feel like I'm gasping for air.
Screaming for help.
But they all think that there's no problem with me.
And that I'm over-reacting.
And that makes me feel like I'm
D r o w n i n g