== Raising A Boy == Shinji x Asuka x Kaworu (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

2 - Caught

The door to Misato's room slid open. Shinji slipped into the room, stealing furtive glances over his shoulder. While it was true Misato was at a wedding recital and Asuka was on a date, Shinji wouldn't put it past either of them to come home early for some reason. He left the door open. This way, if one of them did come home early, it would be easier to hear them.

Misato's bedroom was a mess. Dirty laundry was scattered from the edge of her futon to the dusty space behind the dresser. A couple beer cans and an empty instant ramen bowl lay scattered around her pillow, and a matte black UMP was propped up innocently against the closet door. Carefully picking up the dangerous weapon with thumb and forefinger, Shinji moved it to a less conspicuous location before opening the closet.

There were a lot of women's clothes in there. Misato's GEHIRN uniforms were obviously the most worn, and there were a few fancy party dresses that seemed to be gathering a lot of dust. Shinji pushed them all aside to peer in the back but Misato's closet contained nothing he thought a normal girl would wear.

Shinji had better luck in the dresser. He purposefully started from the bottom drawer and, after rummaging through the layers of pants, finally decided on a short blue skirt that still had the price tag attached. In the next drawer up, Shinji took out a black shirt with a pink and blue polka-dot pattern. After hanging both shirt and skirt neatly over the back of the chair, Shinji turned back to the dresser. His hands hesitated over the knobs on the top drawer. He could still back out now and retain some semblance of dignity.

But then he would never know how he'd look.

Shinji pulled the drawer open, revealing a rather large collection of lacy bras and panties. He swallowed nervously. Picking out a pink bra, Shinji rubbed the fabric between his fingers. It didn't feel very comfortable. Setting it aside, he dug around for a matching pair of panties and decided on one with pink and white stripes. Shinji recalled when Misato had once told him never to wear both polka-dots and stripes because they clashed horribly. At the time, Shinji had laughed at the thought of ever having to actually need advice like that. The stripes would be worn out of sight, though. Not that anyone was going to see them anyway.

After laying out his selection of clothing on Misato's futon, Shinji stripped out of his own clothes. He folded them neatly and placed them aside, then picked up the pair of panties. He looked down at his naked lower body, then at the panties again. This probably wasn't going to work as well as he had imagined. He gingerly pulled the smooth fabric up past his thighs, expecting a sudden and horrible chafing. It didn't come. Actually, it felt kind of... breezy.

Next came the skirt which, after securing it around his waist, almost made Shinji look around for a missing piece. He was so accustomed to actual pants that wearing what was essentially a pair of pants without legs felt terribly incomplete, like he was naked from the waist down. Was this how girls felt all the time?

Shinji briefly considered stuffing the bra with socks or something, but decided against it. He put it on and spent a good four minutes with his back to the mirror trying to hook it together. It felt way too loose and hangy, but he couldn't really help that. The shirt came on over it and the tops of the lacy cups could be seen over the low neckline.

Shinji stood back a ways so he could see himself fully in the mirror. He turned this way and that, making the skirt flutter around his knees. "Father," he said in a higher, more feminine voice than usual. His voice cracked. He cleared it and tried again. "Father."

Shinji twirled around. He wished his hair was a bit longer.

While looking at the mirror, something caught his eye on top of the desk. Misato's makeup kit. He sat down in the chair and opened it up. She had obviously been using it just before she left because everything was a bit jostled and out of place. Or maybe it was always like that.

Shinji took out what he thought might be mascara. And this one was... blush? He couldn't tell. Nothing had labels and he didn't have any experience with makeup. That bullet-shaped one was lipstick though, he knew that. He popped off the lid, expecting to find a stick of bright red inside. In reality, it was a pale mauve. He pulled out and opened several others but they appeared to be mostly the same, some barely a shade lighter or darker.

Shinji scooted the chair closer to the desk and leaned forward. Concentrating on his reflection, he raised the lipstick and dragged it slowly over his bottom lip. It didn't want to spread, like dry paint on a brush. He rubbed it gently back and forth and, despite his concentration, smeared it a little here and there. He did his upper lip too, then smacked his lips together like he'd seen women do on TV.

His clumsy transformation complete, Shinji leaned back in the chair and stared at his reflection. He pushed up on the bra a little to give the illusion of it being filled. The lipstick was smeared a bit and obviously needed work, but it looked okay.

For a moment, Shinji could pretend he wasn't Shinji.

If he'd been born a girl, would he have been the one his father had taken out to dinner? He took Rei out to dinner even though Shinji had performed just as well. He had taken her out because she was a girl.

If he'd been born a girl, would he still feel this lonely? Everyone at school likes Asuka because she's attractive. She's attractive because she's a girl. Everyone likes her because she's a girl.

Shinji wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there, but the sudden click of the front door opening jolted him out of his reverie. He stood up so fast he knocked the chair backwards onto the floor with a clatter. A quick, panicky glance around the room told him the closet door was still open, as were the drawers on the dresser, not to mention all the makeup spread out over the desk. Shinji lifted the chair upright and scrabbled at the half dozen canisters of lipstick. Several slipped from his fingers and clattered loudly to the floor.

"Shinji?" It was Asuka. She was coming down the hall.

Heart pounding like a rabbit's, Shinji gathered up the lipstick and crammed them back in the case. It was too late. He wasn't fast enough. He couldn't get Misato's room back to the way it was and change out of these clothes. There was only one thing for it.

"Don't come in!" Shinji shouted, leaping for the door. Before he could shut it, Asuka stepped into view.

Time ground to a halt as they stared at each other, Shinji caught in mid-lunge.

Asuka's expression was uncomprehending. "You... you're..."

All Shinji could do was stare like a deer caught in a pair of headlights, stare and wish desperately that she would go away and conveniently forget everything.

Asuka took a step back. "You're... Oh my God..."

"I wasn't-" Shinji gasped, the rest of the sentence dying in his throat. He knew nothing he could say to save the situation. He prayed he could turn back time and make her forget.

Asuka bumped up against the wall. Then, her face a mixture of disgust and confusion, she turned and ran into her room—her red hair whipping behind her—and slammed the door shut.

Shinji staggered back. Could fourteen-year-olds have heart attacks? He couldn't get his heart to stop pounding. What if Asuka told Misato? Misato would kick him out. She'd never trust him again. He would always be that sneaky little pervert who rummages through people's private things. Shinji looked around wildly as if expecting a solution to pop out of the walls. He shut the closet door, then pulled off the shirt and bra, cramming them back into the dresser. Next went the skirt and panties, and then he was pulling on his own clothes again.

He ran out into the hall. Asuka's bedroom door was shut. He turned and went in the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He scrubbed his lips clean and splashed water over his face. It didn't help calm him any. His hands were shaking. God, what if she told? Shinji stared at his reflection in the sink mirror. He was a boy again.

He was scared again.