== Raising A Boy == Shinji x Asuka x Kaworu (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

1-Shinji

Shinji lay on his back with his arm folded under his head, still wearing the earbuds from his SDAT even though the batteries had run dry a quarter of an hour ago. His room was dimly lit by a lamp on the desk. The yellow lighting combined with the beige walls, tan bedsheets, and coffee-colored carpet all melded into a dull soup around him as he stared up at the ceiling, his vision glazing over.

The sounds of Misato and Asuka getting ready for their respective nights out carried in through the open door.

"Misato, can I borrow your lavender perfume?" That was Asuka's voice.

"No, that stuff's not for kids." came Misato's reply.

Shinji rolled onto his stomach, pressing his face into the pillow. He wished they would hurry up and leave. All he wanted to do was think and he couldn't do that with their voices corkscrewing through his head every three seconds.

A clacking pair of high heels approached the door.

"Shinji-kun?" said Misato.

Shinji didn't turn over.

"We're leaving now. There's some leftovers in the fridge if you get hungry."

"Okay." said Shinji, his voice muffled.

"Are you all right?" asked Misato.

"Yes. Have fun at the wedding."

There was a pause, and then, "Alright. Don't stay up too late, you have a sync test tomorrow."

"Okay."

The heels clacked away again down the hall and Shinji could hear Asuka's incredulous voice from out in the kitchen.

"Is he still moping around in there? Honestly, just because we have plans tonight and he doesn't? If he wanted a date that badly he should go outside every once in a while."

"I think he's still upset about yesterday," Even though Misato spoke quietly her voice carried easily into Shinji's room.

Shinji heard the front door open.

"Whatever," said Asuka. "I bet he's just jealous that we have social lives and he doesn't." This was said in a louder voice than usual. Asuka's way of making sure Shinji didn't miss her comment.

The front door closed and, now that he finally had some peace and quiet, Shinji rolled back over to stare at the ceiling.

Yesterday

Yesterday they had all done well on their latest in a series of sync tests. Asuka and Kaworu had been the reigning champs for the last few months, but lately Rei and even Shinji had stepped up in their performance. The sudden change had even been noticed by his father, who offered to take Rei out for dinner. Shinji must have let his disappointment show on his face because Misato quickly offered to take him out for ramen. What made Rei so special? They had both done well on the tests. Why hadn't Father taken him out to dinner, too? It just wasn't fair. Shinji knew he shouldn't feel jealous but he couldn't help it. His father had decided to reward Rei and only Rei, even though his own son had performed just as well and was standing not five feet from them.

"You did well, Rei. Let's have dinner out tonight."

Shinji could still perfectly recall how his father had spoken in that calm, deep voice. A voice so different from his usual gruff tones. A voice Shinji had never heard directed at him. Father had sounded so... relaxed and understanding. Proud, even. Yes, all of those things. His words conveyed every one of those feelings, and they had all been directed at Rei.

Shinji liked Rei. He liked all of his fellow pilots, but he and Rei seemed to be on the same wavelength. Whenever Asuka and Kaworu got too loud or excited or competitive, Shinji could always detach himself from the group and have a quiet talk with Rei. He didn't blame her for stealing his father's attention, but the resentment was still there. It was clear that his father preferred her over Shinji—over his own son.

After his mother's death, Shinji had been sent to live with his aunt and uncle. Father didn't want to have to deal with him. Father was too busy, or too angry, or too something to want to raise his own son. But when Shinji arrived at GEHIRN at his father's request so many months ago, he learned that his father had spent the last ten years bringing up a girl named Rei Ayanami.

Why choose her over his own son? Was it because Father felt no obligations around her? Maybe it was because Rei wasn't family. He could talk to her without feeling any obligation or fear. If he screwed up it wouldn't matter, she wasn't his kid. She wasn't his responsibility.

But there was something wrong with this theory, something that kept scratching ceaselessly at the back of Shinji's head like a cat trying to get out. The thing was, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch for Rei to actually be a relative of his. Shinji had noticed it one day when forced to watch a video of himself and Rei during one of their worst sync tests yet.

Dr. Akagi, disappointed with Rei's and Shinji's performances that day, had made them watch the recorded video feeds from inside the Test Plugs. By watching the tests on video they were apparently supposed to ascertain exactly where and what went wrong with their thought patterns and why Asuka and Kaworu were doing so much better. Frustrated and more than a little annoyed, Shinji decided to focus on Rei's section of the video instead of his own. It was then that he noticed it, as he saw their faces on the screen side by side.

She looked a lot like him.

Shinji had never noticed it before, but the width of her shoulders, her jawline, her nose, even down to the way she leaned forward slightly in the Test Plug... it was almost as if she could be his sister or something. In fact, if he were to grow out his hair a little, he could be her sister.

Shinji cracked a reluctant smile at the thought, but it disappeared as quickly as it came. Maybe his father liked Rei better because she was a girl. Yes, that would make sense. Shinji's heart sped up as he clutched desperately to this latest theory. His father must have been disappointed when Shinji was born because he wanted a girl, so he dropped Shinji off at his aunt and uncle's and decided to raise Rei instead. But that still didn't explain why she looked so unsettlingly like himself.

So much like himself.

Shinji wondered whether anyone else had noticed it. He sat up, pulled out the long-silent earbuds and looked into the mirror on his desk. He turned his head to the side. Yes, if he grew his hair out a little more... maybe a dab of makeup here and there. Rei didn't wear earrings, but they might look nice on himself.