Second Chance :: Nathan Chen

Chapter 17

I motion for Kierra to order first.

"I'll have a hamburger with fries please," Kierra states smiling gently.

The waitress nods turning back to me.

"Um, I'll just have a water," I state quickly not meeting Kierra's eyes across the table.

"You have to eat," She states firmly her eyes locked on me.

"I'm not hungry," I lie.

Kierra turns away from me and back to the waitress. "He'll have the same please."

The waitress nods taking our menus and leaving us in awkward silence.

"So what, 2 weeks till U.S. Championships," Kierra stammers trying to break the silence.

"Yeah," I whisper. "So let me think you'll be up there with your gold followed by who, Karen Chen?"

Kierra laughs. "Maybe, no guarantees. And you'll be up there with your gold followed by Vincent and then what was his name, Nathan Chen?" Kierra smirks.

Laughing we sit in a comfortable silence our fingers touching on the table.

The weird thing is that it feels right. 

The waitress suddenly returns placing our food on the table.

I stare at it, I can't eat any of it.

Kierra stares at me telling me I have to eat.

I pick up a fry in between my fingers trying to think how many calories are in it before taking a bite in it.

I feel like I'm going to be sick.

"It's fine," I whisper to myself.

"Pardon me?" Kierra asks.

"Nothing," I whisper.

I finish half of my fries and my entire hamburger.

Shocked at myself I stare down at the rolls of fat.

Disgusting.

Pathetic.

Worthless.

"Is something wrong?" Kierra asks concern in her eyes.

"I need to go to the bathroom," I state quickly running away from the table trying to hold back the tears in my eyes.

I lock the door behind me and this time I don't even have to shove my fingers down my throat.

I throw up naturally.

Flushing the toilet and wiping away my tears I feel empty.

I feel light and perfect.

Washing my hands I walk back to the table ignoring the concerned glances from everyone else.

"You're okay?" Kierra asks nervously as she grabs my hand weaving her fingers into mine.

"Yup," I say popping the p and paying. "I'm perfect."

Inside something screams for me to tell her that I'm not okay. I want her to help me.

But I can't do that. 

It's fine.

Kierra's POV

I stare down at the thousands of texts and calls Vincent has managed to cram into my phone.

Breathing deeply I call him.

One ring, two rings, 3 rings-

"Hi, Kierra," Vincent answers breathlessly.

"Who's that?" I hear Nathan ask in the background.

"I gotta go, bye!" Vincent hangs up quickly.

I sigh staring at the dozens of pictures of me and Vincent and now new ones of me and Alex lined up on my dresser.

Opening Safari I google Alexander Taylor.

Thousands of pictures show up of Alex entering rehab, "Alexander Taylor states that 'rehab was the best decision for me at the time, I think that I was in denial of how bad my condition was.'"

Teary-eyed I Google anorexia relapses.

Almost everything matches.

"He's fine," I whisper to myself even though I know he isn't.

Alex's POV

"Hey," Kierra states awkwardly, I can tell that she's been crying. "We need to talk."

"You are talking," I deadpan packing my things into my bag.

Our flight out to the U.S. Championships is tomorrow and the competition several days after.

"Alex, you stopped eating, you're too skinny, this is healthy-" Kierra begins.

"What I do to my life is none of your business," I state coldly standing up.

"Alex," She pleads grabbing my arm. "You can't keep on doing this to yourself."

"I can, it's my life," I state trying to shake her off.

"Stop, please," Kierra pleads her eyes wide and desperate. 

"Fuck off," I scream irritated shoving Kierra away from me.

I don't miss the look of hurt in her eyes as I spin around and storm away.