Bleeding Hearts (Bloodhearts prequel)

Chapter Three

I nod frantically. "Sure, sure, sure." I hardly let her finish writing the numbers down before I grab the piece of paper from her and hurry out of the room, pretending that nothing's happened.

Now that the number sits in my pocket, I fall short of words; what am I going to tell to him? What is my actual plan now? These thoughts weigh down on me that entire day and the night also. I can't decide on what to do until the next morning. I type in a short text message on my phone without pressing the send button yet. I'm gonna wait until I see him at school. This ends up being my master plan. Brilliant.

I let Jason babble about practice and about girls. It's not hard to pretend that I'm preoccupied by the girls around us. To the other guys, this is more than enough explanation as to why I'm not really listening. However, my mind is far from preoccupied with girls right now. I can't really collect my thoughts. Everything is swimming and I feel a very powerful sense of anticipation. The only actual thing I can get myself to focus on is the ticking of the clock on the goddamn wall. That clock will tell me when I can throw away the shackles of history class and get on with my plan. I know what the teacher is talking about, but I find it boring as do most people in here. Jason sends me a look and hopefully he just thinks I'm tired. The clock ticks away slower if possible. Jason is talking to some of his other friends, probably about me, but I ignore them. I don't care.

As the bell finally frees me, I walk out of the classroom. I'm standing at the end of the hall. Cory is by his locker, talking to Sadie. I finally manage to catch his eyes. In a haze of desperation, I press send:

We need to talk about what happened.

Cory checks his phone and frowns. He says something to Sadie, who leaves promptly. His eyes go from his phone to me with a confused expression. I need to keep my distance for now. I text him again and leave without looking at him again:

Old gym. After school.

In reply, I get a one-worded message.

Okay.

I'm really a little surprised that he agrees so quickly and without any fuss. It's not like him. He always makes some kind of joke. When it comes to me, he loves to point out how stupid I am and how I must be some kind of serial killer. But the thing is, I don't think Cory is scared of me. He's seen something that makes him cling to me like a leech. Funny thing about that is that I don't mind. Not even after what happened. Over the past couple of days, I've discovered how I actually want to spend time with him. It gives me a rush. A strange rush that I can't explain. It's something I only get when I see him or when I think of him. Something exciting – and scary as hell. I'm not sure what it is I am doing. I just figure the only way to find out is to do something about it. Not think too much. My brain doesn't always agree with me there. It has a life of its own.

When the bell rings and school is out, I pretend to go home. Really, I just go and sit in my car until everyone seems to have left school. Then I get out and go through the building and find the most inconspicuous way to the old gym building. The ruin where I usually go to be alone.

I arrive to see Cory already there, sitting on a piece of broken brick wall. He's rolling his thumbs nervously. I wait an extra second to let him know I'm there. Then I clear my throat and he whips around with eyes the size of tea cups.

"Jesus, are you trying to give me a heart attack," he says and makes sure to keep a bit of distance between us.

I raise an eyebrow at him, lips quivering.

He blinks. "Are you laughing at me?" There's genuine surprise in his voice. "I guess that's better than pushing me into lockers. Did Jason knock some of your brain cells out this morning?"

"No, but he wishes," I say and continue without thinking. "He keeps trying to get me to talk about what happened."

Cory's eyes widen. "Please say you didn't fucking tell him anything," he begs. "I don't need another ass-whooping, thanks very much."

I shake my head. "Of course, I didn't say anything. Do you think I'm stupid? Jason would get my head checked if I did. Probably my dad would as well."

"Right," Cory says. "I, uh, am sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I didn't mean to. I just... I didn't think." He checks to make sure I'm not getting angry with him. "So... how mad are you?"

"I'm not mad." I bite my tongue and sit down on the same piece of wall Cory sat on just a minute ago.

Cory scoffs in disbelief. "You must have hit your head. You would have called me fairy boy at least five times by now if you hadn't." He begins to pace around like a mad person and I grab his arm to make him stop. He winces slightly but does not ask me to let go or move his arm away.

"I just want to talk," I tell him earnestly. "Seriously. I had to beg Sadie to give me your number, so I could get you here. In return, she made sure to tell me I'd be a dead man if I ever hurt you again."

He still looks at me funny, unsure. "I'm sure she did. But I'm not embarrassed, you know. We fairy boys wear our wings with pride – even if the evil jock knights push us around sometimes."

I roll my eyes at that comment. For a couple of moments, none of us talk. Then he sits down next to me.

"Okay then..." He's the one to break the silence. "Let's say I'm playing nice here. What is it you really want to ask me? I already told you that it just happened. A spur of the moment kind of thing. Sorry 'bout it."

I make sure we have eye contact. "You don't have to be sorry."

He doesn't break away, hardly even blinks. "Are you saying you didn't totally hate being kissed by a fairy boy?"

I scratch the back of my neck. "Look. I'm sorry about the nickname, but at least it's better than faggot. That's what they really wanted to call you."

"No, it's what you wanted to call me. You're part of it. But why are you?"

I swear this boy is too intelligent for his own good. Sighing, I try to think of something to say. "I don't know why," I say.

He moves a tad closer. "At least you're not lying. I guess. Thanks for that." He pinches his nose. "I'm glad you seem to have more brains than Jason. You know how to stand up and take responsibility for your actions. That's why I like you."

I can't hide my surprise at that last comment. "You like me?" I ask, smiling, and his cheeks burn.

"Maybe," he mumbles, not looking at me. "You're not supposed to know that. Sadie said you'd probably squish me like a bug if you ever found out."

The rush hits me full force. I feel light as a feather. "No, I can't do that anymore," I chuckle. "And I like knowing that."

A big smile spreads on Cory's face. "You do?" he says. This gives him the courage to stand right in front of me. "Would you mind if we maybe tried it again? I'd kind of like to--"

He stops mid-sentences when he sees me nodding. I put my hands on his hips and pull him to me. He seems frozen in place. We're both breathing faster. His hips feel so small in my hands, yet warm. I realize I really like being so near him and touching him too. He's like a magnet that keeps getting more and more attracted to its other half. He slowly moves closer to me. That's when I can't think anymore. I lean forward and put my lips to his. It's a slow kiss. His hands land on my shoulders, squeezing. My grip tightens. This time I know what I am doing, and I am not stopping. The feeling I get from being close to Cory is addictive.

I feel light as we pull apart. There's still a confused look on his face and it's really attractive.

"This is still not a joke, right?" he asks for confirmation.

I laugh. "Sorry. You're stuck with me now."

A wide smirk appears on his face. "I can handle that," he answers and leans in to kiss me again.