WoF OC Reviews

General Viper

However eventually Dunestrider was killed by criminals who tried to (censored) her. Dune fought them off but they killed her in the struggle. Viper found her body and gave her a proper burial nearby an oasis they would play by. Viper went on to share this news with his parents, who gave an alarming degree of disregard to Dunestrider's death. Whatever love Viper had for his parents disintegrated. He left the sand kingdom entirely.

Holy crap, those are some awful parents! If my father acted like that towards my sister's death, my love would completely vanish, too.

Viper was only 3 at this point.

O h.

Shortly after fleeing, Viper discovered his ability to use animus magic (by him sarcastically yelling at a piece of fruit in the rainforest kingdom to "get down here!"). Ecstatic, he returned to Dunestrider's grave and dug up her remains. However Viper could not bring himself to resurrect her with his magic: he felt that bring her back against her will was just as much as a crime as the one that initially killed her. So he buried her once again. However he was reinvigorated. He used his animus magic to alter his appearance slightly to make himself more unassuming. It was that night that Viper realized how brazenly he had been using his animus powers. So, out of fear of himself, he performed an enchantment that made him only able to cast one spell each day. With that, he enrolled himself at Jade Mountain academy.

It was shortly after Viper becoming five years old that he accidentally fell for a trap of sorts. The Empire had been looking for those blessed with animus magic to join their ranks. They had been using enchanted items that could detect animus magic users. And one of those items was a scroll on the natures of animus magic that Viper had picked up out of curiosity. The Imperial Spymaster (Soveliss) personally met with Viper that night and offered him a place serving the Empire. Viper was admittedly terrified of the empire at this time. But accepted the offer. He quickly found belonging within the empire and decided to serve as a Major in the Imperial military. Though skills that even Viper himself didn't know he had, he rose to the position of General. Now at age 7, Viper is both a renowned commander, and animus of the Imperial military. His foes know to fear him, but his troops practically see him as a god.

Totally cool.

Well, I love the backstory! It makes sense, the animus part is realistic (which is rare, not just with animus powers, but with ANY sort of rare powers introduced to the series), and it's an awesome backstory. I still think 7 is a bit too young for general, though.

One thing I will say - Maybe you should add some sort of event or happening that occurred during his time in JMA, or something that happened in his time working with the Empire. It can't be all boring and nothingness, right?

Residence: Viper (shortly after becoming a Colonel at age 6) created and dug himself a den within a sand dune nearby the oasis where his sister was buried. He uses this sandstone den as both a secret getaway and a place of solace.

Cool, cool.

Viper also has a set of official quarters within the Imperial Citadel.

Makes sense.

Both of these residences are almost comically tidy, neat, and organized. Everything he owns has a specific place where it belongs, and Viper is quick to get rid of any items that aren't useful to himself. Save for just one: a golden bracer that he secretly crafted and enchanted when he was still at Jade Mountain.

OOo.

Family/Friends:

Viper (as stated in the backstory) considers himself to have no family (despite the fact that his parents are likely out there somewhere).

He is however close friends with the Emperor, Andronikos (high ambassador), Soveliss (high spymaster), and also one of the skywing princesses (more on her later).

Cool.

Mate: Viper chooses to not have a mate for fear it would "distract from my true duty to the Empire."

Lol.

Crush: Viper does have a borderline romantic relationship with the skywing princess, Windstrider.

The NightWing names tho...

The two strongly trust each other. They've toyed with the idea of actually settling down and having dragonets, but both decided to stay committed to their duties.

Tbh? I can't see Viper with dragonets. Actually, no, wait, I CAN see him with dragonets — but he's awkwardly holding one and having a bewildered look on his face like, "I don't know what to do with these jelly beans".

However they are still close and stay in close contact. They use two mirrors that Viper enchanted to be able to speak to each other (like discount Skype). The two have occasionally met (at Viper's secret getaway) and had a bit of "fun."

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Dragonets:

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/6d/19/1a/6d191a059fb1cc481c376476823c3785.png

uTTER BEAUTY

Viper has a few enchanted items at his disposal:

A quill that writes for him (due to his absolutely terrible handwriting).

I WISH I HAD THAT! Except it's, like, a pen instead. Not because I have terrible handwriting (not like I have GOOD handwriting, either, to be fair), but y'know, sometimes my hand cramps and stuff. It'd be awesome to have a pen do it for me.

A golden bracer that protects him from the fire or frost breath of other dragons.

I feel like there's a story behind that. Did one of his Clawmates get so fed up with him that they almost blasted frost/fire in his face?

And a necklace that makes him immune to disease as well as heal almost three times as fast as a normal dragon would.

Cool!

Viper and his soldiers have absolute loyalty and trust in each other. One soldier was asked why he followed Viper so valiantly,

At first, I thought it said "violently" instead of "valiantly", and I was very confused.

and the soldier replied "with all due respect sir, I follow him because he would never ask of me, what he wouldn't be willing to do himself."

Wow. That's a good quote! And certainly something to live by. A good leader wouldn't ask his people to do something he wasn't willing to do himself.

My Rating:

9.5/10

Originality: 25/25 (This character is completely original.)

Realism: 20/25 (1.5 points knocked off for the rank, 1.5 knocked off for the appearance, 1 point knocked off for the NightWing names, 1 point knocked off for the backstory)

Interest: 25/25 (I'm very interested in this character)

Uniqueness: 25/25 (This character is very unique)

Comments:

Viper is a pretty cool character, just make him a bit older, add to his backstory & appearance, make the names Dunestrider and Windstrider a little less NightWing, and voila! Magicalness.