Falling Freely

Chapter 1

"It was fine. He's not like him, it's ok this time."

There are thousands of thoughts running through my mind. When that happens I come here, to the river.  I stand on the dock and I just stare out into the beautiful open sky. I always come right before sunset- if you've never seen a susnset you should go away. Like now. The pinks and purples are soothing and on a kind of cloudy day the sky looks like it's full of cotton candy.

The river is the best place to come think or cry, or both. My mom used to tell me that the river was made up of tears. When she was around she would bring me right here. When I was sad she'd say

"Let them go Adrienne, once your troubles turn into tears and fall into the water they'll be gone forever"  

It was something so silly and even at age 13- it always made me feel better; now that my mom isn't around anymore I realize how much that meant. 

Sometimes we would just sit here, on this spot and she'd just listen me talk, and talk, and talk. She would hold me in her arms and dangle her feet into the water. My mom was always prepaed with a blanket and time after time she'd bring the blanket and I would fall asleep on her- I would fall asleep and my tears would roll into the water.

As I'm standing here, I'm echoing those very words to myself a familiar voice interrupts my thoughts,

I look over my shoulder and see a gorgeous Dominican boy with curly hair and hazel eyes. He's about average height, standing at 5'10 and he has a strong build and a freckled face. He walks towards me and wraps his arms around my waist and then kisses my cheek

"Adrienne. Mama what's wrong?"

It was my boyfriend. My sexy 19 year old boyfriend ( he's 2 years older than me), his name is Justin. We met a few years ago when I first moved here. Before moving to New York I lived in Jersey. There I was a horrible person. I disrespected everyone, I fought all the time and I barely went to school.

People would look at me and ask my mother how it was possible that someone who looked like me acted the way that I did. I guess that's a good thing about the way I look. I'm tiny; at 4'11 and a half  (DO NOT forget the half!) I'm right under 5 feet. I have thick, curly, shoulder length hair, it's a caramel colored with dirty blonde highlights. I have curves in all the right places (or so I've been told) and I have light brown eyes. So apparently these all mean that I should be all happy-go-lucky and an angel but that wasn't the case, until I moved.

I moved to New York right before my sophomore year of high school. My mom had died that July and I was sent away to live with my aunt. I enrolled in school and when I went to get my schedule I was assigned a mentor- that mentor was then- senior Justin. We hated eachother at first but then we quickly found out that we had a lot in common and as the story goes we fell in love and here we are.

"Nothing Justin, don't worry I'm fine"

"Liar; tell me what's wrong baby girl. I told you we didn't have to do it, I said we could wait" he said in reference to the fact that we just had slept with each other and the fact that he thinks he took my virginity.

"Justin, I have to tell you something" I start saying as tears start rolling down my face.

"Adrienne, you know you can tell me anything. Please tell me what's wrong." he says as he sits down and pulls me into his lap

My heart is pounding I hate for him to see me like this, I hate for anyone to see me like this but especially him; it kills me inside to see him upset.

"Adrienne did you start cutting yourself again?" he says reaching for my wrists

"No Justin, it's not that" I say as I show him

"then what is it?"

"Well the first thing is, is that I wasn't a virgin before today"

"What?! You been lying to me?! I thought we told each other everything; I guess I was wrong-" He says as he takes me off of him and starts to get up

"No Justin, hear me out. Please. " I said as I'm reaching for him.

"What?"

"Can I just please tell you why. You'll understand." I say through sobs-

"Fine, I'm listening. "