Chasing The Sun

IV. i'm calling mayday

"How're the Straw Hats?" you asked, trying to hide the cloud of jealousy hanging over you. Mihawk spoke of the captain's first mate, Roronoa Zoro, often, and he mentioned Luffy more often than not. Everyone you knew was slowly paying attention to only them, some of the Marines you were on good terms with had actually stopped paying you mind as they preoccupied themselves with plans on catching them. They were robbing you of the attention of those you loved and held close.

"They're...interesting," he said and rubbed the back of his head when you gave him a look. "They're a threat for sure. The type to go for something when they set their sights on it, kind of like the Rogers a while back..."

"Not good," you concluded and he nodded as he refilled both your teacups. "Say, Big Brother?"

"Hm?"

"Have I...ever mentioned my family before?" Kuzan raised a brow.

"No, you haven't. Your past is your past, so I never bothered to ask," he shrugged. "Why d'you bring this up now?"

You stared at your cup of tea before sighing and running your fingers through your hair. Your snow white hair, with blood red roots that never seemed to actually grow.

"Well, I wanted to know if you'd like me to tell you why that name, Big Brother, means so much to me."

There was a heavy silence before he put down his cup.

"...I've never not wondered about it, but I never asked because it seemed like a heavy subject," he sighed and you chuckled a little sadly.

"Honestly speaking, it is. You'd be the first person I've told." The look he gave you made you add, "Mihawk already knows, he's the one who pulled me away from my old family." Kuzan nodded in understanding. "I...won't say a lot because I don't know what to say, but...I really loved my old Big Brother. Looking back at it, I have no idea why I decided to stay from him for so long.

"I still love him a lot, he's technically still my older brother, biologically speaking, but I revoked that title a long time ago. I always took care of him, he always got himself into trouble after all, he's just that type of person. I've honestly tried to find him several times, but Garp's always caught me trying to leave without a word on where or why and forced me to stay; he's actually banned me from moving on my own.

"My old Big Brother, he was the center of my world, he was everything to me. Well, I was very young, granted, but all I can remember from that age was worrying about him," you laughed lightly. "And...then the day someone important to us was...taken away, he told me to leave him alone, never to approach him again. Mihawk was the one who gave me another purpose in life other than to just worry all the time. You know my history with Mihawk, so I probably don't have to explain that too much, but...he always forbade me and prevented me from seeing my old Big Brother. He said I shouldn't try to have anything to do with him because of how he used to ignore the effort I put into helping him.

"But he was my Big Brother, y'know? I cared and I still do, no matter how much I tell myself to stop," you sighed, noticing how Kuzan wasn't even bothering to hide his curiosity as he listened. "But he hasn't tried to find me all these past twenty or so years, I've seen basically no traces of him - I know where he is, but...he's never tried once to come see me. I stopped calling him Big Brother when I joined the Marines, I realized he wasn't going to even try to come back. He gave up on me." You bit your lip, staring intensely at your cup of tea which seemed to cool under your gaze. "I felt lost for so long. I had no one I could rely on the same way I had with my old Big Brother, and Mihawk couldn't stick around because he's a pirate, but then..."

You trailed off, but he knew what you wanted to say.

"You met me," he finished and you nodded.

"You were someone I could look up to, you're someone I knew I could respect. I eventually managed to talk to you and I felt so happy that you didn't push me away or ignore me. You paid attention to me, you offered to help me a few times. That made me feel overjoyed; no one had ever said something like that to me. I was a pushover to everyone else, it was like I didn't exist."

Kuzan hummed to show he was still listening.

"You became...somewhat of a beacon of light, you began to stabilize who I'd become. Someone I could count on, someone like my old Big Brother, but...you actually responded to me when I called, you offered to help me after I helped you, you did everything I thought no one would do."

"And so I became your new Big Brother," he concluded and you smiled cheerily. "I'm guessing...you don't want to tell me his name?"

You shook your head. "You already know him, anyways. Everyone does, really."

Taking it as a sign to drop it, he simply nodded and drank his tea. He was nice like that, picking up your social cues so easily. He understood your personality through and through. The rest of the rendez-vous passed in comfortable silence before you received a call, telling you you were needed back in Loguetown and to not abandon post next time. You just laughed off Sengoku's scolding, promising you'd be on your way and stood up.

"Oh, and [First Name]?" You looked up at Kuzan, who was still seated. "...thanks for telling me, I guess."

You chuckled at his wording and nodded, promising to call when you got back to Loguetown and bid your farewells, closing the door behind you. As he heard your footsteps disappear, he lay on the ground, propping his head up as he thought. "Someone almost everyone knows...?"

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A/N: I need sleep.

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