Poision

prologue

This burning sensation that I desire more then anything. The heavy, burn of poison smoke filling my lungs. Slowly but surely my red, somewhat healthy lungs turn to rot. I promised him that I'd stop but we both made promises that we couldn't keep. He promised he wouldn't leave, he wouldn't hurt me, knowing how damaged others have left me he promised he wouldn't do the same. I should of known, should of seen it coming. He was just as bad as the others, maybe even worse. Though not physically violent, he had his own way of hurting me and others he had done the same to. Physically and now mentally destrought I remove the paper poison from between my lips, letting the smoke I inhailed, seep through my parted pink lips. I would of thought by now I would be use to being let down. Truth is, you never get use to being betrayed by the people you trust the most. My fingers part letting the burning cigerrette butt fall to the ground, tredding on it with my ripped converse, extinguishing the flame. Shoving my frosted fingers into the pockets of my leather jacket. Razor, keys, lighter, gum and four paper cigarette's. Gum a method to keep me from my secret poison, strawberry being the only one to actually keep me from the craving. He was the only person to keep me from the cancer sticks I crave so badly, his lips being an alternative. Being underage also being an issue, never stopped me tho. My pace steady as I walk back to the city. Running my thumb along the sharp edge of my razor as I walk, making sure to not pierce the skin, no. I shake my head hoping to erase the overpowering thoughts in my head. My own mind powerfully dangerous. I begin to jog hoping to out run my thoughts as my eyes begin to blur from tears. No, no, no. I hate crying, not because I think its weak, no because once I start, once the first tear leaves its socket, I loose control of when it will stop. Barging my door open as I run into my bathroom not bothered to shut the front door I rummage my medicine cabinate. Spraying a liquid anxiety stop into my mouth, not that it would do much. The taste of charcol and alcohol fill my mouth, not the pleasant type. I quickly run the tap, collecting the water in my now shaking hands using the water to splash my face and rinse the foul taste from my burning mouth. I hate this, turning off the tap I sigh punching my already shattered mirror. I hate not having someone I can confine in, not having a safety net. The slow trickle of blood down my fists, dripping into the basen. Blood. I lick my lips without realizing I'm being watched. Slowly I raise my fists to my lips licking them clean from the blood I crave. Sucking my blood from the cuts across my knuckles I let out a soft whimper at the sweet sensation. A deep chuckle bringing me to turn my face flush and cheeks red. Standing ever so sexily leaning against the door frame, his body stunning as always. "Chris" I mutter biting my lip curious to how much of that he saw. "Hey sexy" he chuckles standing in his boxers giving me a sly smirk. Muttering under my breath I look away. He knows what he does to me, and he plays it. "Fuckimg tease." I growl seductively, a smirk across my face. He giggles pretending to be shocked. Moving from the basen to Chris, lust in my eyes. "You" I say with a stirn tone pressing him against a wall trapping him. "Yes sir?" He almost whispers with a playful tone. He knows I own him. He knows that he is my toy, I do what I want to him when I want it. He agreed. I firmly grip his neck in my hand squeezing causing his lips to part and let out a slight whimper. Smashing my lips to his dominantly I take control biting his bottom lip earning another whimper. I press myself closer letting out a moan as both our errects rub against one other. Roughly I grip his shoulder and force him to turn so his stomach presses against the cold white wall of my apartment. His soft skin covered in thousands of tiny goose bumps. Grasping his ass hard I bite into his neck hard sucking at the blood my teeth has caused. Chris whimpers in pain as I in delight. Not many people know about my blood kink, it usually scares people off, but Chris doesn't care what I do to him. His specific words when we first started talking were "I don't care what you do to me, as long as you make me feel. I don't care how you get me to feel or what you do. I have a safe word if I need the word is 'red'." Sucking at his bleeding neck I rub myself against his ass, I could see Chris biting his lip in pleasure and inpatients. "Be a good little fuck toy" I almost chuckle at how needy he is as I drop my jeans and boxers to the ground.  Taking my mind of everything that has happened between Lukas and I is all I need. I rub myself more, just a bit longer. Placing my hand on chris's shoulder I thrust in hard earning whimpers of both pain and pleasure for both of us. "Fuck sir, please" he begs whimpering. "What do you what slut?" I hiss. "To be used" his voice almost breaking as I begin to thrust myself harder and harder into him. I moan under my breath as I close my eyes drowning out Chris and his pathetic begs. I thrust harder and harder as images of Luke flood my mind. His perfect blonde curly hair and crystal blue eyes, built slim body. Harder and harder I slam into him. Luke's tight firm ass and big hard length. Teasing me with his seductive lip licking and biting as he looks me straight in the eyes, submissive. I bite hard into his collar bone as I thrust hard moaning in pleasure "oh fuck luke!" as I release into him. "LUKE?!?" he hisses violently. "Shit" I mutter under my breath pulling out. "Seriously?!? Your ex??" Chris screams in frustration. I growl glaring at him causing him to back down. Fixing myself up I snatch my iPhone off the bench before I once again leave. I don't know where I'm off to but somewhere, anywhere but here.