Unintended Reconnection

Part 6 - Shizuo

I stand there dumbly staring at the empty space that Izaya had left when he walked away. Had he actually... called me... Shizuo? No stupid nickname? What the hell was that about?

After a few minutes of confused contemplation I unexpectedly take off at a run in the direction that he headed. What the hell am I doing? Why do I care so much? He wouldn't want me to care... would he? I just couldn't shake the idea that something was wrong. Even if there is nothing I can really do to help, I want to know what is bothering him.

Why?

I stop abruptly when I realize I would have overshot him at this point. He couldn't have gone this far in such a short time frame. I raise a confused eyebrow as I circle around, trying to figure out where he could be. Damn it, he's gone. How does he do that? He always seems to simply vanish.

I shrug and force myself to give up. If I had a functioning cell phone, I'd call that bastard but that's not an option. Maybe he'll show up again later or tomorrow, if he's still around. It seems like we're always destined to cross paths anyway.

It's too late to do anything else tonight so I may as well go back the way I came and head home for the night. I amble back down the sidewalk wishing like hell I had cigarettes. I'm mumbling unintelligibly to myself when I pass by a small alleyway. Something catches my eye and I stop dead in my tracks.

'See?' a small voice in my head says smugly. 'Something always brings us back to each other.' With another sigh I turn into the alley and walk up in front of Izaya who's sitting broken against the wall. I look down at him hiding under his hood with his face in his hands. Is he shaking?

"Izaya?" I ask quietly. He stiffens but doesn't answer me. It's the second time tonight that he refuses to even acknowledge me. "You can pretend all you want but it's clear that you are not okay."

His hands drop as he brings his knees up, resting his forehead on them with his arms over his head with eyes trained on the ground. Shaking my head, I edge around him and slide down the wall next to him. "Are you ready to talk about what's wrong?" I ask him gingerly.

"I'm fine," he mumbles into his lap. "And even if I were to admit that I'm not, why would you care?"

"I don't know," I admit aloud. "I just... I don't like seeing you like this."

He raises his head abruptly and peers almost angrily into my eyes. "Why? I would think you'd love seeing me so utterly... shattered," he practically snarls from the safety of his hood.

I shrug at him and try to keep my face blank. "I know... you would think, wouldn't you? I can't explain it myself, Izaya. But... I guess... Ah, hell. Never mind. I'll just leave you alone to wallow in your unexplained misery..." I move to get up but a hand on my arm stops me. I look back at Izaya who looks as bewildered by his movement as I am.

"Don't," he says almost inaudibly.

"Don't what?" I ask numbly, staring at his hand on my arm. I don't think he's ever touched me without some murderous intention before.

"Don't leave," he whispers almost pathetically.

My heart stops at the desperation in his voice. "I... I won't. Do you want to talk about it now?" I ask as I lean back against the wall and stare sadly into his distracted garnet eyes. "I know we've never been friends, Izaya, but if you need someone to talk to, I guess... I don't know. I guess I'm here for you."

"You really are more human than I ever gave you credit for..." he mutters as he slowly and almost reluctantly removes his hand from my arm. "I'm sorry."