My kind of reality

1

-ann li-

I'm finally going back to where it all began. I can believe it's been 7 years since I left, looking back I think I made the right choice. I have traveled to different places, reached my dreams in life. I even put up a business and donated to charities which is very fulfilling.

But it doesn't change the fact that I left them behind. Him behind. But no one can blame me I was scared back then, the uncertainty of industry. I just can't take it all and as much as I tried to love the industry which I did, but it isn't enough because even-though learnt how to love it. It's not what my heart really desired. Funny thing I was scared that I might fall for him despite of the doubts and uncertainty not realizing i already did. So, I though leaving was the best choice I could finally pursue fashion and escape from the world of uncertainty and escape from him.

Though I think we are both happy. He have a girlfriend and a successful career which I am very happy for him cause he finally have everything he wanted. You know how hard it is surviving in the showbiz industry, the future is so uncertain. You never know, you're so successful right now and in a blink of an eye everything is gone or it could be the other way around. Plus, you can't avoid the haters and bashing. That's one of the many reasons why I left I just can't take all the negativity of it.

Looking back at everything I can I am happy with my choice and I have no regrets aside from being sorry to the people i have left behind.

~ and out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now~

I was snapped from my though when my phone rang

"Hellooooooo!"

"hello to you too"

"Jenny told me you'll be coming home. totoo?"

"yes, I'll be coming back"

"leally?! leally?! leally?! leally?!"

"oo nga ryan. I'll be coming home next week"

"I'm tho exthited!!! pitong taon, hindi ka nag pakita tha akin, tha amin"

"I'm sorry, pero promise pag kauwi ko dyan magkikipag kita ako sayo. Gusto mo ikaw pa ang una kong puntahan?"

"Ano ka ba wala na yun. Bathta promith mo makikipag kita ka sa akin ha?"

"oo nga promise"

"Ryan, who's that? (that voice seems familiar) Jameth, thi ann li!!! halika kauthapin mo!!"

I panicked upon hearing those words kaya agad kong tinapos ang tawag at pinatay ang phone ko

I guess I'm still not ready to face him

to face his anger towards me if he still is

I know I owe you an explanation and its seven years late. Both of us have moved on and continued on with our lives  but the guilt for leaving you is still here and I guess  coming back is the only solution for me to finally erase it. 

  I'm so sorry James, for everything.