Just Like Magic (Cedric Diggory and Hermione Granger Fan fiction)

Chapter 6: Truth

"I don't know." I answered truthfully. "But, it's more than this."

"Why didn't you tell him that then?"

I shrugged. "I was scared of getting hurt? It was my... first time, Harry. It was with someone who is known around school as a heartbreaker and I didn't want him to have the upper hand."

"Did he," Harry searched my face. "pressure you?"

I could see the anger swelling up in him. The thought that Cedric, someone who he had grown to trust, would push himself on me was not something Harry was willing to deal with in a calming matter. An array of "accidents" could happen in the next task and if I confirmed what he was asking Cedric was bound to fall victim to one of them.

My face held the surprise of his question. "No." Small tears found their way down my cheek. "It was entirely my idea."

This was true. It was my decision to go further with him. Cedric asked my certainty of our actions several times. While I still wasn't entirely sure if my actions were puppeteer-ed by the expertise of a heart-breaker, I knew I couldn't blame him for what Harry was asking. It was me who told Cedric I wanted to do more than kiss.

It was my own fault that I was here crying in the arms of my best friend, my brother.

"Well," he started. "I've never known you to be someone who regrets your decisions."

"I don't. It's just-"

Harry interrupted me. "There was a reason you set up the rules. You have to trust yourself or learn to let people besides Ron and me in. Half the time you shut even us out. It's okay to hurt and feel pain, Hermione. That's how you know it's real and you're alive. Trust me. I know."

Deep inside I knew he was right. I spent most of my life shutting people out of what was really going on in my life. My parents were shut out of the magical part of my life after being quite bemused about my having magical powers. They were proud, all the same, but it just wasn't something I wished to share with them. In school, I kept my feelings about being out-casted hidden in an attempt to appear strong. I felt I had no need for trivial friendships when I held such strong bonds with Harry and Ron but it still got to me. Now Cedric appeared to care about me and wanted a part of my life and I was putting my wall up.

It was a defense mechanism and I knew it.

I don't know what I was necessarily afraid of. It wasn't like I had gone through many traumatic experiences in my life. I had a good family and true friends that I could count on. Any trauma that I experienced came in response to Harry's fight with Voldermort which I was more than willing to help with. Harry's reasons for love were why he would win this fight.

"Why am I putting a wall up with him then?" I questioned.

His hand rubbed against my arm. "You're afraid your feelings for him will be unrequited or that it'll change the relationship in the way it's changed for you and Ron." He paused. "You have to put yourself out there."

"I know." I frowned. "By the way, I know Ron didn't mean all that he said tonight. He was just hurting in the way I was the night of the dance."

It would take a while, but I knew Ron would realize in the way that I did that our feelings for each other were merely of convenience. Though Ron fought against his feelings he admitted them tonight in the Great Hall. There would be awkward times ahead for us but we would eventually pull through.

That's how it always was with Ron and I. We would have a huge blowout that would fizzle in a few days and all would be back to normal. I wasn't entirely sure it would work out the same way as it had in the past this time but I was hopeful. Ron had said some hurtful things to me but he was as hurt as I was the night of the Ball. People say things that are hard to take back when they're hurt.