kaylor one shots // reputation

leave before you get left

When things got too good, Taylor Swift got scared. She had been at the height of her career when someone else's scandal brought it crashing down. She had been ready to take another's hand in marriage when the relationship went south. So now, she lived by one rule; leave before you get left.

She'd been dating Karlie Kloss for nearly four months now. In Taylor's opinion, dating a supermodel was risky business. Supermodels could have anyone they wanted, so why would Karlie want Taylor? Even though she was more than enough for Karlie, Taylor never stopped looking over her shoulder. 

The problem was, things were going great between them. There was nobody else. There had been no fights, no arguments, and no disagreements, only paranoia on Taylor's end. When the couple was together, one on one, things were perfect. As soon as Karlie turned her back for a moment, Taylor's mind went to the worst. 

So tonight, lying in Karlie's bed, she planned her escape. Realistically, there should have been no reason for Taylor to want out of the relationship. She had everything she could have wanted in Karlie. But Taylor had been hurt one too many times, which had perfectly honed her distrust of anything and everything. She had convinced herself that Karlie was just going to hurt her like she had been hurt before, so why not get out before Karlie found a reason to leave? 

Karlie, who was downstairs on the phone with her father, was only marginally aware of Taylor's insecurities and paranoid nature. It was 10:00 pm and Karlie's dad had just gotten off from his shift in the E.R. and was now returning Karlie's call from earlier. When Taylor was left alone tonight, her mind seemed to dwell on their still-new relationship.

Things just kept looking up for the couple. Whenever Taylor thought things couldn't get better, they'd have to crumble soon, things kept going up. Up and up and up until Taylor couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't handle the suspense of waiting for their bubble to be burst, for their ship to be sunk, for another breakup that would harden her heart even further.

To prevent the heartache, Taylor decided to take matters into her own hands. Blinded by her insecurities, she got out of bed and gathered everything she had at Karlie's house, some clothes, her toothbrush, and her phone charger. Maybe she wouldn't leave, Taylor thought. Maybe she would just distance herself a little and not let the two get any closer. But then again, maybe she would go and disappear altogether to save herself from what she knew had to be coming. 

Sneaking down the stairs and toward the front door, Taylor could hear Karlie saying her goodbyes into the phone. If it was going to be a clean break, she'd have to go quickly. Quickly didn't turn out to be quick enough because right as she was reaching for the doorknob she heard her own name.

"Tay?" Karlie said, rounding the corner and finding Taylor with her belongings in one hand and the other on the door. Taylor stopped dead in her tracks.

"What's going on?" Karlie asked. A nervous tone showed up in her voice as soon as she'd seen Taylor's deer-in-the-headlights expression.

Seeing Karlie was all it took for Taylor to have her doubts about leaving. She was still scared, but seeing her made her wonder what was so scary about a gorgeous face, a few freckles, and a pair of green eyes.

"I-I-," Taylor stuttered, eyeing the things in her own hands and trying to explain herself. 

"Where are you going?" Karlie said softly, the lump in her throat now audible.

"Karlie, it's not what you think," Taylor said, knowing full well that it was exactly what Karlie thought. Her eyes began to sting and she was scrambling for words that weren't there. Taylor's answered proved to be inadequate for Karlie, whose questioning expression guilted Taylor into giving out more information.

"Listen, I think we're moving too fast. I need some distance, I need some time," she added quietly. Taylor was having a hard time looking at the model whose eyes were now becoming watery as well.

"I don't understand," Karlie said, genuinely upset.

"I just need some distance," Taylor repeated almost inaudibly while keeping her eyes trained on the floor. She was embarrassed by the insecurities that led her here, but for the most part, she was still set in her decision to walk away. 

A minute passed that felt more like an eternity. Both girls were quiet as Taylor was contemplating making her way toward the door. Karlie was silent for that minute not because she didn't have anything to say, she had a lot of things to say, but because she was too shocked to speak.

"You need distance from me or from your own happiness?" Karlie said finally in what was more of an accusation than a question.

"Kar. Don't," Taylor warned while a tear spilled onto her cheek. She knew exactly where Karlie was coming from but it still hurt to hear.

"I'm serious Taylor, every time we reach a milestone in our relationship you get weird and flighty. Shouldn't we be celebrating those things?" Karlie said while a fire ignited in her eyes. She wasn't ready to let Taylor go, at least not without a fight.

"Karlie, I'm sorry. I think I have to go," Taylor insisted, pushing her way past her girlfriend and toward the door. At the last moment, Karlie grabbed Taylor's free hand, making her turn back to face her again. 

"Don't throw away a good thing," Karlie said simply, looking straight at Taylor even though her vision was clouded with the evidence of her emotions.

Taylor stopped and stared at Karlie for a moment, contemplating her words. She noticed how Karlie's glossy eyes somehow made her look even more beautiful. Taylor wondered why she was leaving, but then she remembered the scars on her heart, and she wanted out before Karlie had the chance to create another.

"Tell me the truth. Why are you going?" Karlie said when Taylor didn't make another attempt at the door. Karlie was still holding tightly to her girlfriend's hand and looking her straight in the eye, searching for answers. In order for Taylor to open up, she had to go against every natural instinct in her body, but finally, she decided the truth was what Karlie deserved.

"I'm scared. Scared that this isn't going to work out," Taylor said quietly, hating every vulnerable second of it.

"Did I do something to make you feel that way?" Karlie asked while her eyebrows knitted together at the realization that she could have hurt Taylor. The girls were still hand in hand although it no longer seemed like Taylor was going to bolt.

"No. And that's why it scares me so much. You've done everything perfectly. There have been no red flags. But it's just a matter of time before this all falls apart. And I don't want to be blindsided again," Taylor finally explained. Hearing herself speak the words aloud, she was embarrassed by how foolish she sounded. Even more embarrassed than she had been of how vulnerable she was being, and that, she thought, was a step in the right direction. Maybe, just maybe she would stay. Even if just for one more night.

Karlie paused at this to reflect on Taylor's words. She was dumbfounded in a way. She could not believe that the reason Taylor wanted to break up with her was that she was afraid of being broken up with. After the shock passed, only sadness was left to pull on Karlie's heart until it sunk into her stomach. She loved Taylor, and she wanted more for her than fear and insecurities, she wanted more for them.

"You know, you don't have to grow such a thick skin that you can't feel love," Karlie said, trying hard to get through to the woman in front of her. Taylor had been through the wringer, it was true, but that didn't mean she didn't deserve happiness. 

At that, Taylor's heart sank too. The truth of Karlie's words came barreling down on her as she realized that her thick skin and her new life's motto would get her nowhere in the grand scheme of things. Not to say she wasn't still scared, she was very scared of getting hurt again, but what fun was love without a little risk?

"I love you, Taylor. I want you to go put those clothes back in the drawer and plug that phone charger back in and put your toothbrush back in the holder. I'm not going anywhere, so neither should you," Karlie added. She was trying hard not to sound like she was begging, but she was in a way. She wanted more than anything for Taylor to stay so they could live out their future.

Taylor gulped hard and knew her decision was made. Not only was she going to stay, but, despite the fact that she'd never admit it, she wanted to marry this woman one day.