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by Grumpypilotthighs

by Grumpypilotthighs

This Was Posted On My Message Board, But It's Pretty Important, So Here.

Sorry For Lack Of RPing And Such Today.

I've Just Kinda Been Thinking About Stuff.

I May Leave Watty.

I Mean, I've Met Wonderful People. And I Will Admit, It Somewhat Helped Me Cope With Some Things.

But You Guys Know Me. I Take People Under My Wing. Almost Immediately. Like, To Where I Feel Almost Like A Mother. And Then Some Of Them Just Leave. They Leave The Nest And I Never See Them Again. They Never Bother With Me. They Forget Me.

That Alone Doesn't Bother Me. That's Human Nature.

What Bothers Me Are The Ones That Are Just Using Me. Using Me For Attention, To Gain My Trust, Steal My Secrets, And Release Them To The World. Or Those Whom Threaten To. They Fly Off, But Come Back When Their New Flock Goes South For The Winter.

And I Take Them Back, Like An Idiot.

Besides. Life Is REALLY Busy Kicking My Ass.

I Don't Feel Right. I Glance In The Mirror And Something Feels Wrong. No, What I See Feels Wrong. Perhaps It's A Gender Issue. Perhaps It's Just A Hatred Of My Body. Who Knows. But It's To The Point Where I Don't Want To Go In Bathrooms, Or Bedrooms With Mirrors. I Don't Want To Take Many Selfies. Which Is Odd. For A While I Loved Myself. I Just Can't Stand Any Of It Now.

My Mom's Being An Idiot. She Got Into A Wreck And Totaled Her Car. I Guarantee She Was Drunk. Which Is Why I Stay With Her. Because Every Time I Leave Something Goes To Shit. Her Car Air Conditioner, Drinking Habits, Once I Came Home And It Straight Up Stunk Of Pot, Which I Generously Helped By Straight Up Spraying FeBreeze Everywhere. But A Wreck? A Wreck As Bad As It Was? That Is.. Odd. Even For Her.

I Have To Stay Strong, Too, Despite The Fact Our House Is Literally Covered With Her Ex's Crap. I Had An Issue With Him, I'll Only Reveal That He Didn't Treat Her How He Should've And That I Had A Bad Experience With Him. So When He Died, All The Blame Got Stuck On Me And I Was Left Helping Others And Myself Because I'm Weak. I Have People I Could Vent To, But I Don't Want To Slam Them With My Problems. Why Would I, When My Therapist Doesn't Even Listen?

Anyway. Yeah. I Guess My Plan Kinda Backfired And I Slammed Y'all With My Problems Anyway. Whoops. Oh Well. Game Over. Better Luck Next Time. But I'd Rather Be Truthful Right Now, Rather Than Lie. So Yeah. Sorry.