"10% Gay, 40% Shit, 50% Comin' To Fuck Your Bitch"《Art Book 3》

74

I Didn't Wanna Post This.

But As A Few May Have Noticed, I Haven't Been On Very Much Recently.
Here's Why.

My Mother's Ex Passed Away After A Car Crash, Which Is What Started This Whole Chain Of Events. I Honestly Don't Care About Him. Really. That's Not What Affected Me.

My Mother Is Being Hit Hard. To The Point That She Was Either So Depressed, Or Really Pissed At Me For Not Even Shedding One Tear Or Murmuring An 'I'm Sorry' (Probably The 2nd), Left The Cage Door Open With My Birds.

All Three Of Them Got Out, And Only One Survived. But It Was Barely. This Hit Me VERY Hard. I Lost Two, I Found Out Right After Waking Up. Sounds Like A Pleasant Day, Yes?

Then Ranger, The Great Dane, Passed Of Old Age.

What Doesn't Help Is That I've Been Too Fucking Depressed Due To These Events To Take My Damn Medication. Because It's Gotten So Bad That If I Did, It'd Be Another 'Attempt'.

I'm Sure You Know What That Means.

Basically, As The Days Pass, Things Are Getting Worse, And I'm Getting Less And Less Motivated To Continue On Living,
Breathing,
Eating,
Sleeping,
Drawing,
Writing,
Typing,
Roleplaying,
Moving..

I Just Want Out. It's Been A Shitty Life And I'm Tired.

"But Fam.. You've Seemed Happy Recently!"

No.

No I Fucking Haven't.

99% Of The Time, I'm Hiding How I Really Fucking Feel, Because I Don't Wanna Hurt Someone.

But I Can't Hide It Anymore Without Just Blowing Up.

I Just Want A Break From Living Life.

I'm Not Taking My Medication, As Stated Previously. So Most Of My Dreams Are Terrors, My Every Waking Thought Negative, Hell, You All Know How Much I Love Band, And My Trombone?

I Wanna Quit.

I Wanna Quit Band.

I Wanna Quit Being A Trombone Player.

I Don't Find Pleasure In It Anymore.

I Can't Do This Much Longer, Guys.

There Are Only A Few Reasons Why I'm Alive Right Now.

And I'm Starting To Not Even Care About The Feelings Of Those Reasons.