i have a question, if you want to answer go ahead but if not that's OK too. do you have that one person who you haven't thought of for what feels like forever end then suddenly there all you think about? and you know you shouldn't think about them but you cant help it. you loved them.. you still kinda do but that's to be expected she was your first love you put your everything in that relationship... you gave her everything... you did the 1 thing you promised yourself you wouldn't do... the one thing you're scared of... you feel in love with her and you know that you're just being stupid because you have a boyfriend now, you shouldn't be think about her but... you cant help it. and you know she hates you because she told you and it broke your heart you didn't even think of her for the longest time and you convince yourself that you don't love her even the tiniest bit that you hate her but deep down you know the truth... that you cant hate anyone well not anyone you do hat one person and that person is well yourself because it seems like everyone else hates you so why not? join the majority just smile through the pain and pretend you're OK... this one person she cheated on you with your ex bff you tried to give her another chance but you just couldn't do it.... but you are over her you don't want to be miss understood or for people to think you're obbsest with her but a very very very small part of you will always have feelings for your first love.shes moves on and that makes you happy as hell and you've moved on and youre... not happy well your not sad either you're just numb... you made yourself numb because you dont want to feel the emotions you battled with since you were 8 and you know you're still so young and people will say you dont know about heartbreak like real heart break and maybe they're right... you are only 14 after all.. but you cnt help feeling so helpless and broken and you've tried to get help but every-time you do you just ruin everyone life that are around you, you just dragg them down like bricks... mr god im rumbling um sorry im not gonna read this over before posting it so sorry for typos. ummm
bye ig
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