Better Than I Know Myself

Chapter Two

“You know I could cut deeper and you would bleed to death before your daddy gets here. It will look like you did it to yourself, poor little Jesse has gone back to cutting again. Don’t worry I’m not going to cut too deep now, because then who am I going to blame for all my problems if you die?”

She got off of me and let go of my arms, only to have me turn over to face her. I lay on the bed holding my wrist close to me; they aren’t deep so the bleeding should stop in a few minutes. My mom watches me and waits for me to make a run for it, but I don’t try. I know I won’t make it very far; with the blood I have lost I feel weak.

“Sit up.”

I try my best to sit up without moving my wrist too much. As long as I do as I am told it isn’t going to be too bad. I found out that when I put up a fight I end up being hurt worst.

“You know I have been wondering about you. I mean you had a girlfriend, but what I didn’t understand was why you broke up with her. Then it came to me, it’s because you didn’t really like her.”

For a minute there I thought she knew why we broke up. No one, but I and she know the real reason I broke up with her. She was the reason I wasn’t there to pick up Holly that day.

“You didn’t like her because you are a little faggot aren’t you?”

I feel like a bucket of ice cold water was just dumped on me. I am pretty sure I have a terrified look on my face. Nobody knows about that, not even Alyson. I was able to hide it from everyone, even Holly. One of the main reasons I asked Alyson out was because I thought she was a good girl and wouldn’t pressure me into having sex with her. However, I was dead wrong about that and I learned that the hard way too.

“Why would you think that?” I ask, but it comes out shaky.

She starts to laugh.

“Who do you think you are fooling?” She leans in closer. “Next time you don’t want people to find out your dirty little secret, don’t leave your gay porn where someone can find it.”

My eyes widen; I was sure I kept all that hidden. How the hell did she ever find it?

She grabs me by my chin again.

“You disgust me, you know that? It should have been you that went missing, not my baby, Holly. I don’t need a disgusting faggot in my house, tainting it with its filthy, sinful behavior.” She says, I can see the disgust all over her face, but I am not going to let her get to me.

Ignoring the pain in my wrist, I push her hand away from me and stand up. “Forget you, bitter old bitch, so what if I am a faggot. Remember I’m not going to be living in this house anymore, so it doesn’t matter what you think about me anymore.”

She raises her hand to hit me, but I block it. The biggest mistake of my life. She grabs my wrist and squeezes it, she reopens the cuts and blood starts to come out.

“Aahh let go of me, you crazy bitch!” I cry out again as I feel her nails dig into the cut.

Too busy worrying about the pain, I never see her swing her other fist towards me. She makes contact with the side of my head. She knocks me to the ground, and then she grabs me by my hair and throws me back onto the bed. She gets on me and starts to punch me in the chest and rib area. Every hit felt worse than the one before. I try my best to block the hits, but I can’t. My wrists are hurting too much and the bleeding is getting worse. Just when she is about to hit me again, I hear the voice of an angel.

“Cindy what the hell are you doing? Get off of him right now!” My dad says as I weakly turn my head to see him rush over to me.

“This doesn’t concern you Craig; this is between me and Jesse.” My mom says.