Finding Life

The Illness

                                                                                (1)

                             

10th of April, 1909

It wasn't a day dream...it certainly wasn't a hallucination caused by her high fever.

It was a memory.

Madeleine remembers walking down the hill while her hair was dishevelled, dirt under her fingernails and some on her face,her shoes in her hand..walking through the grass and how it felt good.

One of her sleeves was torn by a branch from a tree on the top of the hill.She remembers thinking how much mamma would mind her hair all over the place and torn sleeve would cause a scandal at her grandfather's house.She remembers imagining her old governess Mrs.McPhearson's face and the look of disapproval on her face.How she would say that this is no way for a lady to behave..walking around like an ape.

But more than that she remembers the feeling of joy and freedom those two hours outside her strict world felt.It made all the scolding and looks of disapproval worth it.

She remembers times like these with great joy because these were the only times when she did not feel miserable and caged.

                                                                                 (2)

'Hurry! Hurry Mrs.Cuthbert! Bring in some more cold water this fever does not seem to go down', shouted Mrs. Van Der Bilt.

At that instance two maids entered the room along with the the housekeeper Mrs.Cuthbert ,bringing in two bowls of cold water.

One of the maids was confused by the fuss and tension in the room as she saw Lady Madeleine pale and in pain.Mrs.Cuthbert ordered the maid with red hair to wash Lady Madeleine's feet with cold water.

After a few seconds Lady Madeleine's stomach pain grew much more than she could handle which made her scream.

'Mamma make it stop! Please I beg of you please make it stop!'.

Screaming was not allowed in the household but Madeleine could not care less because her pain made it impossible for her to breath.She screamed at the top of her lungs till her throat became sore and she broke down.The red haired maid Maria felt sorry for this poor girl..at that moment Madeleine was just a sick girl who needed sympathy and care.

After a few minutes Mathew Van Der Bilt entered with the doctor.

Worry and fear was clearly seen in his eyes as he saw his little sister in such agony.He felt helpless as he could not take away her pain.

Sure there were times when Madeleine and him were at eachother's throat, they would annoy each other and break each other's things.But he did consider her to be his friend at times, his partner in crime.They shared secrets they would not dare to share with their older siblings.They used to have inside jokes.They would sneak out of the house and run around in the estate as kids back home.

As kids they were very close.They would fight but they could not spend time without eachother's company.But all that changed when Madeleine turned 16 ,when their father got a job as an adviser to the British ambassador to Russia.Thats when they moved to Moscow.After that everything changed.Mathew and Madelein started to fight more than ever.She started to keep secrets from him.She hardly ever talked to him.They started to get each other in trouble.There were a few times Mathew had pushed Madeleine, once he almost broke her arm.Mathew too had changed.He hurt her without any thought of consequence.He had no fear of his father or what he had to say.