i BET you love me ||H.S

i BET you love me [Part 1]

It's two days left until I have to walk in a new school, needing to face people I don't know at all, wondering if they'll like me, or this  transfer was useless. Just the thought of having to walk in that school with no one I know by my side, is kinda terrifying.
The day goes by, I'm calm and no questions are asked from my mom and dad.
                               ~~~~
I wake up, and realize edmidiatly  that school starts tomorrow. My heart starts to beat faster but I can't help but smile a little because of excitement. I sit up in my bed and open my phone, and nothing. Only a couple of tweets. I drop the phone on my bed and I'm thinking of write in my diary, but I don't. The thought that people may treat me like I'm 10... I'm just over it by now. I start looking around in my room, and remember again that I don't have any windows. My room is in the basement so no windows. I get up slow from bed, and walk up to my big mirror on my warderobe. The ugly cat pyjamas and my hair distraks me from my face I really didn't wanna look at as always. My hair is greasy and I need a shower. But I ignore that and walk upstars where I can see my mom Carolina, my dad Mattias and my brother Loke eating breakfast. I face my dad and he gives me a stare back.

"So, Embla. Are you nervouse for tomorrow?" My dad asks, not even giving me a goodmorning.
"No, not really." I lie and give him a awkward smile. "Is there anyone else you know that's also gonna start?" my mom asks right away. "No, only me that I know." I try not to say that with an irritaded tone, since you didn't have any frineds. "Don't ask her that mom. You know she doesn't really have any friends." My brother tries to whisper to mom. I get a little mad but I know he's right.

"That's right Loke, I don't, and oh I don't know, maybe that's why I'm doing this transfer." i say with a strong tone and all three are looking at me and it's dead silence. "I'll eat this on my room." I take the sandwitch I've made and make my way back down. The second I step in my room I throw the sandwitch in my trashcan. I go sit by my desk and put on my computer. I log in and netflix is already up from last night. I put on F.R.I.E.N.D.S as always and plug in my headphones. I disapear from reality and I just focus on the screen.

After a while I get back to reality and start packing my bag. I don't reallt know what to bring to school, so I just bring what I usually bring. A couple of pencils, some notebooks and small things like sunglasses and a umbrella. I hang my black backpack on my chair and my dad walks in.

"How is it Embla?" he asks and close the door after him. He goes to my bed and sits on the edge. I sit back on my chair and look down at the floor. "What do you mean?" I look up at him and he gives me a small smile. "I can see you're a little down. Where we mean? We don't want to mean and you know that, Embla." I look down at the floor again and bite my under lip a little.

No tears no tears, don't cry or I'll kill you! I thought for myself. "I know, but still. Why does he always have to say stuff like that?" I keep my eyes on my fingers messing around with a hair tie. "I mean, it's like he feel like he's the man and need to comment on everything I do. He's just like yeah I'll be the bully as well." I say with a little deeper and ignorant voice. I look fast over at my dad and he's looking down at the floor. He lick is lower lip and look up and face my eyes. His eyes are kind and it looks like they're a little watery. "Honey, you're siblings. Of course he makes fun of you-"

"But why does he need to comment on every SINGLE thing, huh? What ever I do, it's bad, ugly or he's looking at me like it says FAILER on my forehead." I cut him. My voice is a little louder and I stand up. His eyes doesn't leave me as you start walking back and forth in my room.

"Okey, look. I know he's annoying. But it's not like you're not the same towards him." He says, his voice a little stronger.
"Of course I'm mean, but when he does something he's proud of, or he does something a little wrong, I still push him on getting better and don't give up. I help him with his school work for gods sake."I keep walking, armes crosses over my chest and my tempo gets faster. It almost feel like I could start running anytime. He grabs my arm and slides his hand slow so he hold my hand. He drag me to sit down beside him on the bed.

If you start cry now you pussy, you WILL be dead! The feeling of my tears in my throat starts to hurt but my mind keeps me from crying.

"I know very well you help him and that's one of the main reasons he can at least get more than a F in every test he has. And I know you keep pushing him because that's who you are okey? But you gotta let him have his. He'll get over it and regret it after a couple of years and THEN you can laugh up his face?" The words hit me. Did he just say that? Did he ask me to just take the hate? What a dad. Can someone give a fucking Oscar for best dad of the year. God.

"Dad, if you think I'm gonna sit here another year and just take his crap, you don't know me. And as a dad, that was the worst you could've done. Just take it? What the fuck?! It's disappoint you say that." And it's actual shame in my heart. How any dad would say that. Take it and then make fun of him? Really dad.

"AND, you know I could never do that. How much I've tried to fight back at him and just be mean, I've stepped back and ended up helping him anyways. I haven't gotten one, not ONE thank you from him. Ever!" I can feel how I want to stop talking but as the words self decide to come out I can't stop.

"You're right. I'm sorry. That's sad totally wrong. I'll have a chat with him and Carolina. But please, keep your calm. Okey, we don't need you to feel uncomfortable tomorrow, right?" He says and before I can say anything else he wraps his arm around me and pull me closer to hug me. Even if he did say that, I know he didn't mean it. And that he only want good.

"So, why don't you eat?" Your dad interrupt the moment after a few seconds with those words. He let go of me and I go back to my chair. I cross my right leg over my left and look look at my hands again, playing with each others fingers.

"Well, I wasn't hungry so I threw the sandwich away. But I eat, dad. You know I'm not that into breakfast." I try to slip away. My parents are both working from early morning to late night so I have to fix my own food, but I never really do eat. I throw the food away and then eat something really small. And then it hit me, how did he know? I always throw it in a small bag and throw that away.

"Okey, I know. But do you at least eat when we are not home?" He says worried. My eyes are still focusing on my hands before I know for sure, if I face him now, he'll win as always.

"I do. I promise. Okey." I say, breathing out heavy in my head. He don't know. I now look at my dad and he's smiling. He stands up and walk out my door. He turn around and look into my eyes.

"I love you. You know that right?" He says and give away a small smile.

"I do dad. I love you too." He smiles big and it looks like he's about to fond a little. I hear him go up the stairs and I get back to watching Netflix.