Thoughts Of An Insomniac

Entry #1

Of Course I Can't Sleep.

My Heart Aches.

Much To My Own Fault Though.

It's Hard, Y'know?

Sitting Here. Being In The Shadows. How Ironic That Is, For Someone Who Thrives In The Darkness, To Feel So Uncomfortable In It's Presence.

I'm On Edge. It's Always A Constant Battle With You. I Guess That's Why It Makes It So Easy Not To Sleep. Because I'm Waiting For Your Next Move.

So In Turn, I Can Make Mine.

A Game Of Cat And Mouse. Chasing Each Other Around And Around. Is There Ever An End In Sight?

Unfortunately, I Believe Not. An Endless Circle Of Pain, Of Anger, Of Regret. I Feel That's All We Were Destined For.

We Work So Well, And Then We Don't. It's Just How We Are. How We Were Meant To End Up, I Suppose...

I Wish There Were Another Way. I Wish We Could Turn Back Our Time. I Wish It Could Be Redone. For I Don't See Much In My Future Without Your Existence.

But I Know... I Know I Can't Let You Hold Me Back.

I Dictate My Life. I Hold The Keys, And Only I Can Move Forward And Make It All Better. I Cannot Allow Myself To Become So Reliant On Someone Else For The Sake Of My Own Happiness And Wellbeing.

I Was Happy With You. When You Allowed It.

But I Shouldn't Have To Fear Being Happy. I Shouldn't Have To Fear Someone I Love.

And Maybe That's Where I Went Wrong.