Dance with the Devil: Burgers R Us

The Bathroom

We moved the debris from the entry of the store, then entered cautiously.
The three of us made it inside with no problems.
This Burgers R Us is said to be possessed by Satan.
Our objective is simple: capture the Devil for scientific research.
When we reach the front room, we split.
E-san to the kitchen.
Maoh to the restrooms.
Jameson to the play room.
Mr. Nipples was chosen, because of his specific skill-set, to remain in the front as a lookout.
I head to the restrooms, carefree.
It wasn’t exactly my idea to search the bathrooms, but no one else wanted the job.
I opened the door to the men’s room, the stench overflowing out of which was almost unbearable.
I stepped back, and took a big, final breath of fresh air before entering, placing my shirt over my breathing orifices.
The bathroom was surprisingly clean, for its age and smell.
Well, all clean except one stall in particular, it seemed.
I had a convincing notion that the entirety of the bad smell came from that one stall.
Yet, as I searched and searched the room, and as I passed that stall again and again, I developed a strong desire— no, a strong need to use that stall.
I finally succumbed to this unholy craving, and entered the stall, intent on using it.
It was a relief beyond any I had ever felt, using that toilet; it blocked out all of my senses except for contentment.
As I reveled in my experience, my hand raised seemingly on its own.
I then felt, knew that I wasn’t alone it this stall.
I felt a hand holding mine, and heard a voice.
“Hello.”
“Get out of here, I’m trying to relieve myself.”
“NO! I’m going to tell you a story.”
“Could you not.”
“But sir.”
“Don’t you have any manners?”
I finally snapped out of my toilet mania and looked to the source of the voice.
Frightened by the unspeakable thing I saw, I escaped that stall as soon as I finished my business.
What I saw...
Forgive me, those of you who are sensitive to horrific material...

...was a lack of toilet paper!
After that brush with death, I moved over to the women’s room.
It was much dirtier than the men’s, surprisingly.
As soon as I entered, however, I was greeted by the voice of a thousand demon-girls screaming.
I apologized, then began my investigation.
After ten minutes, I found nothing, so began departing, but heard a voice.
“Tellllll a haikyu—“
I saw an old woman in the mirror beside me.
“Oh, no, no old dear, it’s haiku, haikyu is volleyball!”
“Tell a haikyu.”
“Ok.. I’ll try…”
--Hinata jumps high
--His balls always win the game
--Anime is cool
I didn’t leave that room alive.