•Everything Changes• Junkrat X Reader

Outrunning Karma

"Well....." My thoughts halted. The Queen inhaled and exhaled deeply. I could see a sympathetic look on her face and she spoke again. "They weren't always bad. Not really even that bad now. It's just... they broke too many rules... he, broke too many rules."

"He?" (Y/N) questioned. I already knew the answer. I shut my eyes and waited for her to smear my name to the only friend I'd ever made.

"Jamison." My eyes widened at the sound of my real name. (Y/N) inhaled sharply. I could tell she tensed up. I hadn't told her my real name yet. I wasn't ready... I don't know why.

"Y-you mean Junkrat... he's.. the boy you tried to look after all those years ago?!" A look of distress washed over my face. I could feel my skin turning cold. Of course she would know about me. I felt so foolish thinking I could pull this off. 

"I don't hate him. He's pissed me off, yeah. But I had to do what was best for this town. He causes so much trouble, and it got worse. kicking him out was what I had to do. I'm their Queen. They look to me for guidance. If I let his "disturbances" slide, they wont see me how they do now. But after all this, and how I ended up treating him, I'm sure they're both out to kill me." I could see (Y/N)'s hands fidgeting. wringing around each other and folding.

"I.. You... You really think they would?" Oh god..

"Oh honey! Don't cry! They've tried to before... They wont." She seemed so confident and sly. She smiled and gave her daughter one last hug as she left. Closing the door behind her. I felt like a speck of dust in a huge field. Please... please don't let her be mad at me. (Y/N) stood at the door for a while, maybe a minute. Until she turned quickly and headed to where I was. Her head was down. I felt Paralyzed as she threw the wardrobe doors open and ripped me out of it, throwing me to her bed.

" You tried to kill my MOM?!" I threw my hands up defensively. She was crying. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she searched fiercely for answers. 

I froze.

And that was all the confirmation she needed.

(Y/N) sank to the floor, her (h/c) hair covering her face as she sobbed into her hands. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to lie to her and tell her that it was just a misunderstanding. I wanted.. so desperately to tell her that wasn't me. It's not who I am. 

But it was.

So I sat there. 

I sat there and waited. I let her release everything she had been holding in. It hurt to see. But it was worse that it was my fault. Eventually she stopped, got up..

And slapped me in the face.

"OI! WHAT WAS TH-" I stopped myself. "No... I know what it was for.... I owe you reasons. You deserve to know why.... Sheila, I-" She cut me off this time, putting her hand over my mouth.

"My name. Start over. Use it this time." I'm terrified. She's glaring at me as she takes her hand away from my mouth.

"(Y/N)... I'm sorry. What she said was true. It's kind of how it is out here. Everyone's at each others necks. I was just too much. When I was younger, I made sure I got into trouble. Just for attention. I wanted people to stop looking down on me. I guess I never grew out of it. The Queen warned me, to be fair... She tried to look after me... When I lost my parents in the Omnium accident. My emotions ran rampant and I felt like I couldn't trust anyone. Despite this she rose to power quickly. She was the only one who took charge. And I just caused trouble. When she left for a few years, I assume to take care of you, I just wrecked havoc... She came back to a town in flames. N-not literally! But everyone hated me. I knew my time was running out here.. So I guess... I just went crazy. I felt betrayed by her for leaving me on my own. No one else here cared for me, so I would give them a reason to hate me. And it worked. Everyone hated me, I was a rebellious angry teen, and I hated her." I could feel myself breaking in front of (Y/N). I glanced up at her. What I was met with was a look of pure dismay. I just wanted to make everything better. I still didn't understand why I wanted to put so much effort into her, but I didn't care. She stayed quiet. I could tell she didn't want to talk. She probably didn't have much to say to me, anyway. "This doesn't excuse what I've done though. I knew I needed to take responsibility for my actions but I didn't care.... I care now... I care about what you think about me. I don't know why. I didn't used to! Augh, (Y/N), I don't want you to hate me but I don't care anymore. You deserve to know the truth. I hurt you so badly. I lied to you. At first, everything I did to try and make you want to be friends with Roadhog and I was for our own gain. It was still to.." I gulped. The words I knew i had to say were going to tear the only person I cared about away from me. I hate myself so much for this. She doesn't deserve it. "It was still to kill The Queen." I shut my eyes and prepared for her to punch me, yell at me, anything. I waited. Nothing happened. I opened my eyes and looked at her. My body shut down. 

READER P.O.V

Those words. I knew after everything he had told me, everything he admitted to, my mind knew. I knew exactly what was going on. They took advantage of my kindness....

And now I'm paying the price.

My heart felt like it had been ripped out and thrown out the window. I couldn't find air, it was hard to breathe. My tears fell heavy. He finally looked at me again. I couldn't move. I just stared at him, sobbing quietly. 

"You....You lied t-to.....me.." I finally choked out. It hurt to speak. I didn't know what I wanted. I felt like everything I cared about was falling apart. I had no idea where my father was, my mother is a lot more of a target than I thought.

And the only friends I had made here wanted to kill her. 

"Junkrat...I....I trusted you...I..You made me happy.... I felt better when I was with you and Roadhog. I was so free from what terrified me. I.." Not being able to finish my train of thought was an understatement. I couldn't tell him how I felt, not now. So I just gave up. I collapsed onto my bed and sobbed again. But I no longer cared. It was gross and loud and filled with rage and hopelessness. My body was shaking. I held my knees closer to my chest as I laid on my side, facing Junkrat. I held my eyes shut as tightly as I could. I didn't want to look at him. 

But I didn't want him to leave.

"(Y/N)...I...I'm so sorry.." His voice was barley above a whisper. "I know it doesn't excuse anything I've done. And I don't deserve your forgiveness...But I..." He tried to clear his throat. I could tell he was also crying. That's new. "I realized... not long after I'd been with you, that I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to hurt you, I didn't want to betray you. You started.... to mean more to me... I couldn't figure out why.... I still.." He let out a short sigh "Can't.. I don't know how to express my emotions.. and I'm not even sure what this one is... But I know at least... One of them is regret. I regret hurting you like this... I'm sorry. I probably won't be able to say or do anything that will get you to at least tolerate me again. Let alone shake my hand." He chuckled to himself and sniffed. "I'm sorry, (Y/N).."

I sat up and wiped my tears.

"I hate you. But I...I don't." I glanced out my window. The sun had long since gone down. I turned back to Junkrat, and actually looked at him. His eyes were puffy and his nose was red.

"Jamison... Stay with me tonight... please.."