colors | g.d

1

song :: ghost of you - 5 seconds of summer
"Here I am waking up
Still can't sleep on your side"

( MONDAY :: TWO WEEKS AFTER DIRK'S DEATH )
SOPHIA'S POV

Dirk pulls me by the arm. We both fall into a pile of leaves. I feel happiness come over me. We look at each other and grin, we grin so hard.

Then reality sets in and I am now overcomed with nothing but sadness. I look at his beautiful blue eyes, god damn they where beautiful.

I frown and run my hand through his hair, "why'd you have leave me?"

His face is now also filled with sadness. He pulls back a strand of my hair and places it behind me ear.

"I didn't want to leave you." His eyes turn a little glossy, "but it wasn't my decision."

A year runs down my cheek and he wipes it away.

"You'll be just fine, Soph. You'll be just fine." He places a kiss on my forehead.

I place my hand on his cheek and sadly smile, "no I won't."

::

I am rudely awaken by the sound of my alarm going off.

My pillow was wet of my crying. I turn around to face the empty side of the bed; it was his side. I look a little up and there was his coffee cup with my lipstick stain fading. I feel myself crying again.

It has been two weeks. Two long as fuck weeks. Two weeks without him. I have missed school for two weeks, today I was coming back.

I don't think I'm mentally nor physically prepared to go back; but I have to try to move on, even if I don't want to.

We where in love and dumb and young; and he was taken from me.

I slowly find the strength in my body to get off my bed. I've left almost all of his things intact and where he last left them.

I stand in front of the mirror. There was a picture of us in the corner. I wanted to bawl my eyes out but I had to be strong. I had to be strong for me and for him.

I open my closet. I picked the comfiest thing I could find. I didn't care what I wore honestly. I pull on a loose sweatshirt and some sweatpants. I kneel down to tie my Nikes, these where his favorite.

Going into the bathroom I stayed there staring at myself for awhile. My hands hold on tight to the sink. I look at my puffy red eyes. I take out some eyedrops. I squeeze the tiny bottle, letting the liquid hit my eyes.

I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste. Squeezing the toothpaste to reveal a pasty blue-green mint. I slowly brush my teeth taking my time. I twist the knob of cold water. Cupping my hands, the water fills them up. Pulling my hands up to my face the cold water hit me.

I put my hair in a messy bun. I look at myself one more time. I tried to smile, but I couldn't.

I take my time walking down the stairs, remembering all the times he walked through them. My parents had already left for work. I go out the door without even bothering to eat breakfast.