Diner: How do your customers find their roast beef.
Waitress: They move the potato and there it is under it.
Diner: I waited over a half hour for my turtle soup.
Waitress: Well you know how turtles are.
Diner: Do you have wild duck?
Waitress: No but we can take a tame one and irritate him for you.
Diner: Are there any potatoes on the menu?
Waitress: If there are, we wipe them off before giving it to the customer.
Diner:Do you have boiled tongue,stewed kidneys, and fried liver?
Waitress: Yes, and I've had a bellyache lately, too.
Diner: What's this fly doing in my soup?
Waitress: The backstroke.
Diner:There's a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry, he doesn't eat much.
Diner:Waitress, have you got frog's legs?
Waitress: Yes, sir.
Diner:Then hop into the kitchen and get me a steak.
Diner:Waitress, this lobster only has one claw.
Waitress: He was in a fight, sir.
Diner:Then bring me the winner.
