Figuring this out... Together

Chapter One

On the first day of senior year, Pidge woke up abruptly, about an hour before their alarm clock went off. They had managed to get a few hours of sleep and were glad, because that was at least a few hours, opposed to the no hours of the night before. And the night before that. They were sleep deprived most of the time. .

Pidge stretched and looked around their dark room. The glow in the dark stars that they had put up with Matt when they were about six years old, were glowing faintly. The posters ranged from pop singers to rock bands, to a few scientists Pidge couldn't help but admire. The room overall wasn't that big, but Pidge didn't need much more than a bed to sleep in, a closet for clothes and a desk for homework.

Trying not to wake anyone up, Pidge tiptoed over to their desk and slowly opened the drawer. They removed the double bottom and took out what was hidden inside. A notebook, a pen, measuring tape and a small, self made binder. Those awful sewing lessons had paid of in the end. Pidge went to the door and put their ear against it. Once they had concluded that everyone was asleep, they proceeded. The measuring tape was used and a stripe was added to their wall. After five minutes of measuring everything and writing it all down, Pidge allowed themselves to sigh and go over everything. It was the first day of the month, a day that Pidge was always excited for but also dreaded. It was a day on which they found out if anything had physically changed.

2 cm in height. Pidge smiled as they noted that down. They were now 161cm tall. That still wasn't nearly as tall as Matt was, but they were getting there. 2cms at the time. There was one other thing that had changed since last time. But this was something that made Pidge highly uncomfortable and upset as well. They quietly wrote down how much their chest had grown over the month before putting the notebook away. Pidge had this silent hate towards those useless sacks of fat on their chest. They made them look feminine and that was something Pidge hated with a passion. They weren't quite sure what they identified as, but one thing was sure. The chest ornaments had to go.

Pidge pulled the Binder over their head and looked in the mirror. They knew their binder was crap, but they had nothing else. It was the only thing holding them back from trying to surgically remove the part they hated the most about themselves. So they wore the binder and sucked up the comments. Some days were worse than others. There were days Pidge left school with an actual almost smile on their face. But there were also the days where they had to fight back the tears until they were in the comfort of their room. But one thing was sure... If Pidge hadn't had Matt as their big brother, everything would've been different and most likely for the worst.

After getting completely dressed and gathering their school stuff, Pidge tiptoed down the stairs, making sure to avoid the creaky last step. 'Morning, Pidge.' Came a voice from the kitchen. Pidge sighed and walked in. 'If I knew you were awake I would've been 33.33% less quiet.' They muttered as they climbed onto the counter to be able to reach the cereal. 'I swear mom put everything edible in the high cupboards on purpose.' Pidge complained as they prepared their plain American breakfast. Cereal, Milk, More sugar to ruin their teeth even more and some chocolate powder when they felt like it. Today was not one of those days.

'So. Need a trim before mom and dad wake up?' Matt suggested, opening a drawer. Pidge shrugged and nodded. Matt pulled out the electric shaving device thing Pidge still didn't know the name of and plugged it in. Pidge turned around in their breakfast bar stool to have their back facing Matt. 'Not too much this time. Mom freaked out way too much last time.' Matt nodded and started shaving. He left the front as short as it already had been but got rid of the hair at the back that was starting to grow into a mullet.

'If anyone asks, it was your idea.' Matt said as he threw away the last bit of hair. Pidge grinned and hugged Matt. They felt better, more masculine, after every shaving session. The last one hadn't even been that long ago but Pidge's hair was stubborn and kept growing back. The front was easy to keep at a reasonable lenght. But Matt was happy to do the back whenever it was needed.

'Finished your homework?' Matt teased as Pidge continued eating. 'Got a girlfriend yet? Or boyfriend?' They teased right back. Matt huffed and poked their sides. Pidge's laughter stopped when their mom entered the kitchen. 'I'm sorry we woke you up..' pidge muttered quickly and went back to their Cereal, finishing it and cleaning it up. Matt hugged their mom and made her breakfast, trying to distract her from Pidge's new haircut. But Pidge knew things didn't stay hidden long in their house. In the closet, yes. But hidden in plain sight? Not a chance. 'Katie.. I thought we agreed to grow out your hair?' Their mom said as she drank her morning coffee. Pidge rolled their eyes but nodded. 'We did. But I didn't agree with it after all.' They got up and went upstairs to style their hair.

'She means well, you know...' Matt said, standing in the doorway, occasionally handing Pidge stuff they needed. 'Besides... you agreed to let your hair grow out?' Pidge shook their head and plopped down onto their bed. 'She wouldn't stop talking. I had to do something to make her go away.' Matt sighed and sat down next to them. 'You just keep looking this cool and even she will have to come around eventually.' Pidge nodded sadly but knew he was right. She would come around.

'See you after school!' Pidge waved at their parents as if it was the first day of middle school rather than senior year in high school. As soon as they had turned the corner, the earbuds went in and AC/DC was blasted. It took Pidge about 10 minutes to walk to school, could've been 5 if they didn't stop to pet the neighbour's dog for 2 full minutes. It was a silent deal they had agreed on with the newspaper boy who was scared of the German Shepherd. It had been like that for every year of school as long as they remembered. Nothing much changed. Just Pidge themselves. But that was okay. Maybe one day, they would just stop. They would stay frozen in a perfect look and would live happily ever after. Maybe. Just Maybe.

Pidge pushed through the big front doors and walked straight to their locker. They made no eye contact with anyone and just took out the books they needed until lunch. 'First year, hm? Need some help to find your first class?' Pidge turned around and glared at someone who knew damn well that they were a senior. 'Oops... I forgot you are just as small as all the first years..' He laughed but Pidge did not allow him to leave without a response. 'Listen up, you British fuck. This is my last year here and I would appreciate it if you could back the fuck off this year. I put up with your shit for years. Just let me have one final peaceful one.' Lotor blinked at Pidge and studied them. 'How about you tell me what the hell you are and we'll see? Because.. when I asked you in first year, I got a fist for an answer, when I pulled down your pants the second year you were saved by the teacher. But now.. there's something for you to gain...' Pidge sighed and opened their bag. 'How about... you leave me alone and I don't stab you?' They suggested, clipping open their butterfly knife. Lotor slowly backed up, clearly annoyed. 'Fine, have it your way.' He muttered before giving them the finger and leaving the hallway.

'Did you see that? They do have balls. So my guess is that they're a guy.' Hunk rolled his eyes. 'Funny, Lance...
But I thought we had moved passed guessing and were waiting for them to let everyone know once they were ready to.' Lance nodded and closed his locker. 'I know, I know. But what they just did was Badass as fuck!' He grinned and closed Hunk's locker as well. With an eye on the kid that was seemingly just trying to calm down, Lance walked to his first class.

He liked that kid. They had a nice level of aggression, but not enough to make their shyness go away. He wanted to be their friend. But seeing as he didn't know anything they had in common, he just decided to leave them be and wait for them to make the first move.