Chapter 1

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"If you want my help, you'll have to tell me something, Stiles. Coming here and telling me you can't sleep? Well you could simply tell this to your regular practitioner and they would provide you with a prescription to help with that. If you're coming to me, then I assume there is a more specificreason for your insomnia, one that a normal doctor would be unable to help with. For me to aid you in any way, I need to get a sense of the root of the problem to begin to address it in the best possible way."

Stiles stared at Deaton with narrowed eyes. The Druid simple stares back, unphased by the glare set on him, and waits.

Stiles huffs out a sigh, throwing his hands up in defeat. "Every night is the same; I wake up before I've really even closed my eyes it seems. Sure, I know that what happened wasn't my fault...But," Stiles pauses, his tired eyes raising to meet Deaton's. "Do you know what it feels like to kill 20 people in under 10 minutes? What it feels like to actually absorb that feeling of panic and pain as someone literally seestheir death coming?"

Deaton shakes his head. "You were conscious during the Nogitsune's attack on the hospital." He says, not as a question but as a fact he's come to find true. Stiles averts his eyes, nodding slowly. "Stiles, I see the guilt you're facing but you were notresponsible for the actions of that chaos demon. It's been months, I'm glad that you've finally found that you can open up to-"

"I'm not trying to open up here, Doc. I'm looking for some magical solution you can provide me with so I can fucking sleep for more than an hour and a half at a clip."

Deaton sighs. "Anything that I mightbe able to come up with will only be temporarysolution, Stiles. You have to face this, talk to someone. No one can truly understand what you're feeling but you have people in your life who are here for you. Actually," Deaton pauses a moment, considering his thought before continuing. "Yes, that could work. There may be someone you might consider opening up to; someone who also feels an incredible weight of guilt on their shoulders that doesn't necessarily belong there."

Stiles scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yeah, who might that be?"

"Derek." The vet tells him simply. Stiles stares at the man across from him, mouth open in disbelief. "He blames himself for the death of his family, even Laura I would guess. That guilt is not his to carry."

"But Derek didn't-"

"And neither did you, Stiles. You see where I'm going with this?" Stiles looks away, his expression closed off. "Please, think about it Stiles. In the meantime, I'll gather a few things for you but I'll need a day or two and I can't promise that the remedy will even help if the night terrors are as bad as you're implying. It'll be a natural supplement that should help close off your unconscious mind from the dark thoughts and memories." Stiles nods and leaves without another word.

He drives to the grocery store with a frown on his face; his and Derek's situations are vastly different. Derek was taken advantage of at a young age by someone he was, at the time, in love with while Stiles had his body and mind processed and made to do unforgiveable things. He'd killed innocent people for his own self gain, just to exist and thrive in a world of chaos and fear; he was forced to take the backseat in his own mind while everything around him was destroyed, helpless to stop it.

He thought about this as he walked through the store, grumbling and mumbling to himself as he browses the aisles.

"Talk to Derek?" He says to himself, putting vegetables for a salad into his basket. "How is talking to Derekgoing to help me? How do you even talkto Derek? Would Derek even talk back?" He asks out loud, oblivious to anyone around him. "Would Derek talk to meor let me talk?"

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