RogueTale: Now

Sans: Because I Can

Call it what you will. Maybe it IS lazy to nap and slack off like I often do. But honestly, that's not why. It's not my intent to be lazy. No, not at all. If my early life proves anything, it's that I'm far from lazy. Papyrus surely doesn't remember. He was barely six when we finally got off the streets. And he spent most of the day playing with Grillby anyway. And when Grillby left for Snowdin with his father, Papyrus was old enough to be in preschool. So I doubt he ever really noticed. Which is a good thing. I'm glad he never had to be weighed down by those burdens.

    It was a struggle though. Working every job I could find, earning enough money to keep paying for a small hotel room and for food, and clothes, and all the thing we needed, and trying to have extra stored away for emergencies and so sometimes I could do something nice for Paps, but still being done in time to pick him up from his afterschool clubs and starting late enough that I could drop him off every morning. Because Papyrus was all I had in the world, and there was no way I was going to be anything less than he needed, than he wanted, than he deserved.

    So lazy? Yea, that's not really the right word. Even when we first moved to Snowdin, when I was 17 and had just gotten a job in the Royal Guard as a sentry, I had to keep it up, keep working as hard as I could. Take Papyrus to school, go to my station, work, patrol, pick Papyrus up from school, help him with his homework, listen to him talk about his day while I made dinner, didge his questions about if I had seen/fought a human if there had been news of one that day (because there was no way in heck that I could tell him that I helped the humans as best I could, not with the stories he grew up hearing and his goal of joining the guard someday as well), get him ready for bed, read him a story, stay up late to finish all the paperwork I did for extra pay so we could keep our little hut (we didn't have our house yet, how could we? I barely made enough for what we had, which was better than a hotel room, but not by much), then go to bed, rinse, and repeat. For eight years.

    Thinking about it, I guess I wanted Papyrus to get the childhood I didn't have. I don't remember the first nine years of my life, and the rest of my life had been spent worrying. I had to keep him happy, keep him safe. He deserved that much, and far more. I don't regret a single thing, and I'd do it again in a soul-beat, but it was hard. I won't deny that.

Grillby was fourteen when we moved, and I think he had started to understand, in the four years that we had been apart, that Paps and I... didn't have a good life. So he helped us, in little ways. Small gifts of food, or old toys, or clothes were often presented to us by the cute green-tinted flame elemental. They were part of what helped us stay afloat.

    It wasn't until Papyrus was sixteen and made it into the Royal Guard that I finally got to have a break. Because honestly? I may be stronger than him (a LOT stronger, if you want the truth), but he had more drive than I did, more energy, and more time, and within three months he was head sentry of Snowdin. And finally, finally, I didn't have to worry anymore.

With the money he made, along with what I had saved, we bought a bigger house, one with four whole rooms, two stories, and a basement. We had money to buy food and clothes and pay the bills and still have plenty left over.

So once again, lazy isn't it. I slack off, goof off, and nap whenever I want because I can. I don't have to work constantly anymore. I can sleep when I'm tired, I can take the day off if I want. I can go visit Grillby's restaurant, Grillby's (What can I say, monsters just generally suck at naming things) if I want, and if that dork would let me, I could pay the tab I have. Because it's not all my responsibility anymore. Sure, I still worry. I kinda break the law any time a human falls, and I hardly want my bosses, or Asgore forbid Papyrus, to find out. I worry about Papyrus, naturally, and I have plenty of smaller worries. But compared to life before? Things are perfect. And I couldn't wish for anything in the world that could possible make me as happy as I am now. Because what could ever compare to having the weight of everything lifted from your shoulders?