Coming of Age

13

"I'm sorry."Joelle sighed and rubbed her hand across her face. "I just thought about something."

"It's okay. I know. It's fine, just calm down."Raven pulled her in for a hug and she burst into tears. "You know I'm here if you need to talk."

"I didn't mean to scare you."Raven rubbed her back.

"No. You didn't scare me. I just had a moment."Joelle sighed as she pulled away from her. "I'll be alright."

"You have to stop hiding stuff. Especially from me, how do you expect to feel better if you don't want to talk about anything?"Raven reaches her and touched Joelle's face.

"It's not that I don't want to, I cant. I don't know how to put my feelings into words so that somebody else could understand the way I feel."Joelle sat back down on top of her jacket. She was never one to be too in touch with her emotions, so venting was hard for her.  "I don't know how to explain it."

Joelle brought her knees up to her chest and kind of blankly stared off into the skyline. Raven passed their drink back to her and she took a couple sips but remained silent.

"What's on your mind?"Raven looked over at her.

"Do you think I'm pretty?"Joelle sighed.

"You're beautiful JoJo, why would you ask me that?"Raven furrowed her eyebrows. If she could think of a word that was better than beautiful to her, she'd use it. Joelle was more than that to her, she had only been crushing on her since the second grade.

"I — Joelle began to speak but quickly changed the subject. She tended to that a lot. Especially when it came to things like this. Once again she became silent and kept that sane thinking face she had earlier.

"Raven, could I ask you a question."Joelle stared at Raven.

"You Just did."Raven laughed at her own joke.

"How do you know to have sex with girls?"

Raven was taken aback by the question. That wasn't at all what she thought Joelle was going to ask her.

"It's hard to explain. Someone kind of taught me, and I've just done it so many times that I've kind of gotten the hang of it."Raven shrugged.

"You ever took somebody's virginity?"Joelle turned to look at Raven. They made eye contact and Raven couldn't focus anymore. That was always her favorite characteristic of Joelle, those eyes.

"No. The women I've been with are older and more experienced than I am. Well, then I was."Raven replied to her statement.

"Well, there's a first time for everything...right?"Joelle chuckled. Things went silent once again as they continued to pass there 40 back and forth until they finished it. "Raven, can you take my virginity?"

"Losing your virginity is supposed to be special. Don't waste on me. I'm not worthy."Raven told her.

"It's not a waste. You're my best friend and you love me more than anybody else in the world. It couldn't be more special."Joelle took a deep sigh. "It's fine. I get it if you just don't want to do it with me. I'm ugly anyway."Joelle grabbed her jacket and stood up. "We should head back to school. I don't want to be late for detention."

Raven stood up and followed behind her. Joelle started to walk quietly in front of her, but Raven caught up and grabbed her hand. "Joelle, listen to me. You're gorgeous, more beautiful than my words could ever explain. I just don't want to ruin this for you. I want you to feel special, I want you to feel wanted. I want you to feel loved and I also want to make you feel those things. So if that's what you want. That's what I'll do."Raven kissed Joelle on the cheek.