Yours {CULLEN #1}✔🔞

Fifty Four

I walked to my car and put Nancy in the backseat and drove to Lawrance Mansion. As soon as Mr. Lawrance saw her daughter's corpse he broke down hugging her close to his chest. Everything felt so unrealastic. She was talking few minutes ago and now she was silent for forever. He patted her cheeks asking her to wake up. He shook her body to wake her up but she did not respond to him. It's such a misery for a parent to see their child dead.

"Nancy...open your eyes..see I won't ever deny to come to you..see I'm here." He cried holding her close.

"I'm not even mad at you sweetie. Please open your eyes. Open your eyes Nancy..open your eyes." He mumbled in his sobs.

I couldn't look at him and turned to walk away with a heavy heart which suddenly weighed more than my whole body. I wanted to go away somewhere where I could get peace but then I drove myself to Nancy's apartment. I was so guilty for hurting her. The door was unlocked I quitely entered inside and looked at the things which were scattered around like she tried to fight goons but couldn't escape. In the hallway a huge photoframe of her hung on a wall. She looked so preety with her eyes closed posing for mascara brand. I touched her picture as I felt she had gone so away that I cannot even hurt her anymore. No matter how hard I cry or shout for forgiveness she won't ever listen to me.

She won't ever chase me. She won't ever annoy me.

I went inside her room and opened her laptop. I didn't know what I was doing but I knew I did many things wrong. Had I been dead at her place things would have been different. I typed her name as password but it didn't open. I tried her dad's name but again it was wrong. After all wrong trials I typed my name and I was astonished when it opened. It had our picture together as the wallpaper which was taken while she asked me for a photoshoot with her for Vogue cover and I couldn't deny.

I smiled at the bittersweet memories and opened a folder which had my name. I was surprised to see it full of my photographs which were taken candidly. I didn't even know how she managed to take all these pictures. I went through all the pictures it were either I was out in a party or I was at my apartment. I remember how she was always so engrossed in her phone while talking to me. A small smile formed on my lips as I realised how stupid I had been with her. I went through all the three thousand and forty nine pictures. Some pictures were of that day when I was here to take her to the gyno.

I turned off her laptop and scanned her magazines. Most of it were pregnancy magazines. I smiled foolishly when I realised I lost my three months old babies with her. Tears fell down my eyes and I rushed out of her apartment. Silence was choking me, the aura around made me so restless. It felt like she made a space in my heart despite my ugly behaviour towards her and I never understood her. I was an egoist, selfish pervert that I kept using her for my ugly ways and she let herself get used to my rude behaviour. I was such a pathetic devil. I didn't deserve to be happy. I never deserved angels.

**************

As the priest finished saying prayers for her soul few men lifted her coffin and laid her down on a 6ft dug earth. my eyes could not stop showing me what took place because of me. Her face looked beautiful, her beautifully applied eyeliner on her closed eyes, her pretty pink lipstick, the blush on her cheek. She looked beautiful in a clean white gown while we all were dressed in black. Irony right ? The ways she held the cross in her hand tightly showed how stubborn she was. One of her cousin covered the coffin and Mr. Lawrance put handfull of mud on the coffin followed by others. Everyone said their eulogies and it was my time to tell her how I felt for her.

I kneeled down near her and stared at her tombstone which had her name engraved on it. Never in my worst nightmare I ever wanted to see her name on a tombstone like this.