I was 9 when I first wanted to die.
I was 10 when I first spoke up about it.
I was 11 when I made the first cut.
I was 12 when I finally thought about how I'd do it.
I was 13 when I decided I would die at 15.
I was 14 when I realized life truly was fleeting.
I was 15 when I realized hope was too.
I was 16 when I realized life was both hard and rewarding.
I was 17 when I decided I no longer want to die.
I am 18 now.
It was when I turned 18 that I realized I still do want to die.
I've just changed as a person.
Soon I will be 19.
Whether dead or alive I will have made it.
Life is hard.
And I am tired.
I want to sleep for a long time.
So.
Goodnight.
