back 2 u. the boyz

2. first(?) impressions

⠀⠀Kevin clenched his fists, doing his absolute best to not snatch up his bag and run out of the room as fast as he could. His face burned as he weakly shook Jacob's hand with his clammy one.

⠀⠀"J-Jacob. . ." Kevin stammered, unable to look Jacob in the eyes. He took a deep, shuddering breath, then continued quietly, "I didn't know you moved to Korea."

⠀⠀He didn't even need to meet the other's eyes to feel Jacob's guilty gaze on him before Jacob even said, "Well. . . nobody knew, so it wasn't just you, Kev, it's just—"

⠀⠀Kevin's head snapped up immediately at the sound of his nickname. "It's Kevin," he bit out. Jacob recoiled back a bit like he had been hit in the face before nodding mutely.

⠀⠀"I'm sorry," Jacob muttered, playing with his hands as if it was the only thing he could do at the moment. He does that when he's nervous, Kevin suddenly remembered. "How have you been?" Jacob then asked softly after several moments of silence. "How's. . . Mr. Morrison? Rachel? Or Mia? Zach? Jiwon—"

⠀⠀"All fine. You've missed nothing since you left," Kevin snapped. He regretted it the moment the words came out of his mouth, knowing the harshness in his tone was a bit too much when he saw Jacob wilt a bit like a flower. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Why are you here, Jacob?"

⠀⠀Jacob was chewing on his bottom lip, then straightened and looked Kevin in the eye. "I wanna join your band, Kevin," he said. Kevin raised a brow.

⠀⠀"I guess not anymore after you saw that it was me, huh?" he said bitterly, turning away. He felt two hands grab his shoulders and spin him around until he found himself staring directly into Jacob's eyes.

⠀⠀"Do you not want me to join because of something that happened four years ago?" Jacob asked incredulously, sounding almost hurt as his eyes widened.

⠀⠀Kevin bit his lip. Perhaps, to Jacob, he was being ridiculous for not wanting Jacob around for something that happened when they were thirteen. He knew Jacob had every qualification imaginable to be in the group—a lovely singing voice, dancing skills, the ability to play three different instruments, and most importantly, passion and dedication that almost rivaled his own. However, Jacob never knew about what had happened after he had left, and their last words before Jacob had disappeared to Korea couldn't stop ringing in his head as he gazed at Jacob's face.

⠀⠀"Kevin, are you listening to me?" Jacob asked, a hint of exasperation in his voice, which only served to aggravate Kevin further. "I know we've had bad blood before, but I'm the only one who even bothered to sign up, so you might as well just let me join. What's wrong?"

⠀⠀Kevin ripped Jacob's hands off of his shoulders. "You hurt me, Jacob. That's what's wrong," he said quietly, his voice trembling as his hands shook. "I trusted that you would accept me, and you didn't. I remember exactly what you said and the face you had, Jacob. It's so hard to even be in the same fucking room with you anymore." Kevin stopped there, not even trusting his own voice anymore as it got caught in his throat again. The mere thought of all the specifics made his chest burn, and Kevin wished he hadn't remember it at all.

⠀⠀"Kevin, we were thirteen—"

⠀⠀"What could've possibly changed since then, Jacob?!" Kevin screamed, his chest heaving as the fiery anger built up into it became too much to handle. "It might've been four years ago, but the days the followed were the worst fucking days of my life!" he continued, face hot with fury. Inwardly, Kevin was almost surprised at himself at how enraged he was at Jacob. Perhaps, even after all of this time, he hadn't quite gotten over it like he had told himself, he mused silently.