Derailed

Chapter Two

"Sorry, come in." I opened the door wider and moved to let her pass.

Kelly led the way into the kitchen, flipping on a light before flopping down in a chair the way only someone who has spent considerable time in a house would do.

"I told Tom we'd meet him in an hour over at Gill's."

"Gill's? You actually hang out there now?" I couldn't picture my friends at the local bar. Growing up, we'd viewed the place as a hangout for old people.

She laughed. "I forget you haven't been back to town in so long. We all hang out there."

"Oh. Well, I don't know. I've been driving all day, but I guess I could run over for a little bit. I just need to get some stuff from the car and get ready." Beer sounded like enough motivation to get me moving.

Kelly followed me back through the house, out to my car, and helped me lug in some bags.

"So it's really happening, huh? You're moving back?" She struggled to drag a large duffel up the front steps. I put down my bag inside the door and went out to help her.

"Not permanently, just until I figure out what the hell I'm doing with my life." We moved back into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and freezer even though I knew they'd be empty. Some habits are hard to break.

"Well, take your time then. No need to rush." She smiled.

"I'm not in a rush, there's nowhere to rush to." I leaned against the kitchen counter, not ready to sit again.

Kelly picked at her nails, a nervous habit she'd had for as long as I could remember. "I need to talk to you about something."

I braced myself for bad news, not sure I could handle more. "All right."

"Tom proposed a few weeks ago." She peeked up at me from under a fringe of light brown bangs.

"Wow, congratulations, that's wonderful!" I went through the motions, hugging her and admiring her ring.

"It's good timing that you're here. It will make it easier for you to do your maid of honor duties."

"Maid of honor? Wow."

"Of course. I mean I was going to be yours..." She trailed off. Kelly and Tom were the only people in town who knew about Adam. I'd made her swear not to tell anyone with the exception of Tom. She told her boyfriend—or now fiancé—everything.

"It's okay. I've accepted it. But if you've been engaged a few weeks, why didn't you call?"

"It's just that we have to do it this summer because it's the only time I can get enough time off." Kelly taught third grade at Bayview Elementary, the same school we went to as kids. "And, um, there was only one date available at the church—July fifteenth."

"Oh. Well, it's not like I have plans that day now." I tried to force a smile, but I'm sure it was less than convincing.

"I'm really sorry. And if it's too much for you, we can—"

"No, it's a great date. It doesn't upset me." I tried to wrap my head around the idea that Kelly was getting married on the same day I was supposed to. It was as though we'd switched places.

"All right, good. I can't wait to tell Tom. He kept pushing me to call you."

"If you're serious about wanting to go out, I should get in a quick shower and change." I needed to get away from Kelly before I lost it.

"All right, I'll wait down here."

People sometimes say things like "I had no more tears left to cry," but that's a bunch of crap. I'd been crying almost every night for months, and the supply was still working fine. Miraculously, the batteries in the old shower radio functioned, and it helped ensure that Kelly wouldn't suspect a thing. I was supposed to be the strong one, the unbreakable one, and there was no reason to let her see just how far I'd fallen. By the time I shut off the water, I'd composed myself.

I came back downstairs, my wet blond hair pulled into a messy bun. I didn't have time to dry it.

"How are you doing, Molly, for real?" Kelly looked up from her cell phone as I walked back into the kitchen. It didn't look like she had moved.

"I'm fine."

"Stop lying to your best friend. No offense, but you don't look like yourself. When's the last time you ate, or slept for that matter?" The worry was back.

"I ate some food on the road, and I sleep when I can."

"You know there are pills you can take to help with that."

"I don't need sleeping pills. I'm doing fine; it was just a long drive." Evidently, I was going to have to do a better job covering up the evidence of my quasi-insomnia. I realized that the concealer at the bottom of my toiletry bag might have a new life.

"If you say so. I'm here if you need me."

"Thanks. I appreciate the offer, but I don't want you worrying about me. You have a wedding to plan."

I put on some strappy sandals, wondering if my well-worn jeans and fitted black t-shirt would stand out. I figured people wouldn't dress up to hang out at a place like Gill's.

I slid into the passenger seat of Kelly's car. "Are you sure I shouldn't take my own car? I don't know how long I want to stay."

"I'll drive you home whenever you're ready. You've been driving all day. You need a break."

"I can't argue with that."

Gazing out the window, I watched the town, my town. Every block held memories, the only memories I had without Adam. Unfortunately, even those memories hurt.