If You Let Me

CRAZY in LOVE

It was day 2 of therapy and I was preparing to walk into Dr. Fisk office for our next session. I'm hoping this is better then yesterday, we were really getting somewhere.

"Karin, hello, I hope you got a good nights sleep." He shook my hand then motioned for me to sit down.

"I did. I think was actually able to get a few things off my chest yesterday." I think I said something right because he smiled.

"I'm glad that it was able to help. Today we're going to go into a little more detail about some things you revealed. If I wasn't mistaken you told me you had a husband." I rolled my eyes out of habit.

"Yes I have a husband." He began writing.

"So you two are still married?"

"Well I haven't received any divorce papers so I would assume that I am. We kind of haven't talked in two years." I looked down a wave of sadness overflowing my thoughts.

"Wow you haven't talked in two years and you guys are still married. How does that work?" Dude if I knew don't you think I would have told you. Let me not let my emotions get the best of me.

"It's a lot I know but as soon as I get out I'm going to fix things."

"Fix things? You had said there was another woman involved. Is she the reason you haven't spoken to your husband in two years." I nodded my head.

"She's the reason for it all. We were happy before she stepped in." Fisk put his notebook down and crossed his legs giving me his undivided attention.

"You killed her though, so shouldn't you guys still be on a happy path."

"Doc it's a little more complicated then that. I didn't kill her to be happy, I was going to be happy regardless the situation. I killed her because he was happy." He gave me an odd look so I went into further detail. "Once upon a time, my husband and I were happy but once she stepped in it was different. He was no longer happy with the thought of me, he was happy with the thought her. She wasn't his wife, I was his wife but that didn't matter to him. It was all about him. I loved him I still love him so of course I put him first when in all reality it was never about him. it was all about me. I get my way regardless. I was going to be happy regardless, and if that meant I had to get rid of her in the process then so be it." I was starting to sound a little crazy.

"It sounds like you have a lot of built up emotion because of this situation."

"For years it was happening right under my nose and I didn't even know." I was audible enough for him but the thought was really more for me. I was beginning to replay the events in my head. It was like no matter what out of these two years I still remember every detail coming up to this day.

"Karin are you okay." Fisk sounded a little concerned.

"Yeah I am, why wouldn't I be?" He decided not to give in and answer that because no answer would have been good enough. "It's just a lot has happened that as led me here today and all I want is for the memories to go away."

"Mrs. Brown you have the next four weeks to talk to me about whatever. If this is the reason for it all then tell me. I'm here to listen." I sighed. He was right I do need to talk about this. It might help me find closure so I can move on with my life and rebuild me.

"Okay." That was all I could say.

"You can began wherever you would like."

"Have you ever loved somebody so much you would do anything for them?" I scoffed.

"I sound crazy I know but with him it was more then just love. It's like I had this sudden urge to do any and everything for this man. I knew when I crossed paths with him that I was about to go on the ride of a lifetime. It was his fault. He fed into it. I had never met someone who was so into me. He related to me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was intrigued by the thought of him. It wasn't noticeable at first until my best friend brought it to light. She thought I was crazy in love. She told me it was unhealthy, but I didn't listen. She had warned me over and over to not get to attached because things were going to take a turn for the worse. At first I thought she was saying it out of jealousy because I had something she didn't. that was until I started noticing things on my own." My mind wondered off as Fisk jotted some things in his notebook.