THIS IS PART THREE OF MY BOOK SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT....
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dear diary
its been a few days now...no one knows yet,,,im not coping myself,i dont know how id be with everyone knowing.lilly knows somethings up,she keeps asking me if anythings wrong,i just put on a smile and say ,"im fine"
i havent talked to my mum yet,my life just seems to be in this whole routine,
get up,
make and effort to get ready,
go to school,
put on a smile even though im dying inside,
come home,
stay in my room crying thinking about the good old times,the times when my life was simple,i was happy,it seems like years ago when i think about it.
sometimes i think i should tell someone anyone,but i cant.i know they say you should talk about things but i dont see how that can help when it will just end up bringing you to tears all over again,how is reliving the painfull memories or times in your life supposed to help anything.
my mums coping,i think,shes never here for me to see. shes worried about me,she says my grades are dropping. i know they are,its j-just that i dont see the piont of anything anymore,i cant concentrate on anything at school anymore,my brain keeps on wondering what if?
i wish my life was the way it was,i know i have to get over my dads death eventually,but the question is,do i want to?...some part of me does want to get over it and move on,because thats what your supposed to do,move on with your life and live it to the full.
but the other part of me wants to keep that little bit of my dad i have left,and if that means mourning over my dads death and living the same boring routine day after day then so be it. anyway its getting late now,
bye diary
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thanks for reading byeeeeeeee :)
