Ahkmenrah: The Fourth King of the Fourth Kings

Chapter 87: The Smile

Ahkmenrah smiled at that.

"He seems like a fierce little one." He said. "You know I can't blame him, Kahmunrah and I spent half our childhoods thinking we could change into crocodiles and frogs. That was when father decided to show us what real frogs and crocodiles looked like. I must say the palace artists make them look ten times better, and perhaps more fearsome."

"They must be some artist if they can make frogs look fearsome."

"The paintings are still somewhere in the palace, I can show you. I..."

He stopped himself. How could he continue on like this his brother just died. He felt that guilt wash over him again. Why could he not weep?

"Ahk..."

"I'm fine I..."

"You're not fine." She told him. "And that's okay."

"No, it's not." He snapped back. "I'm King I should be out there looking after my people. I should...I should be able to weep for him."

"I think you wept enough."

"Drunkenly yes..."

"Drunk or sober. You wept. Kahmun wouldn't have cared if you had or not. As long as you kept loving him."

"Still there is a guilt."

"There is. I can't pretend I know everything you're feeling but allow me to say this."

"Talk away."

"He didn't sacrifice his life for you so that you could waste it by pining after him. He must have seen something within you. Don't let his sacrifice go to waste Ahk. He loved you more than anything."

"How is little Ramses?" He asked. He could feel his chest tighten painfully at her words because in a sense they were true and he had wasted three days of his life already.

"As strong and as healthy as ever." She answered. "He keeps your mother awake all night."

"Could I possibly see him?"

"He's your nephew Ahk, you don't need to ask me permission."

"He's an orphan now."

"He has his grandmother, he has me, he has you."

"You were an orphan too were you not?" He asked, remembering her revelations. "Was it lonely?"

"A little." She admitted. "You try to look for parent figures in anyone who gave you an inkling of guidance, and sometimes that all comes crashing down."

"I don't want him to feel that."

"Then don't be merely his uncle."

"What do you mean?"

"Get up, be present in his life. Hold him when he cries. Nurse him when he falls. Play with him. You may not be the father Kahmun could have been, but you could still be his father. It is the least you could do for your brother."

"I wish he was here. Kahmun loved children. He told me a few times he was sorry he hadn't fathered any more bastards."

"Anymore? He has bastard children?"

"There was once a servant girl, Aneksi, it must have been years ago now. I think it was his second lover. The first was Sabaf if you were curious."

"Sabaf?"

"I'll explain later." He promised. "Anyway, she carried his child for six months before both she and the child died."

"That's awful."

"It was. Father was furious, I'm not sure but I think Kahmun was beaten for it. He wasn't the same after that, with women that is. He was more careful about his uh...seed. I don't think he wanted to hurt anyone."

"No one knew about it?"

"He was young then, I don't think anyone who did know wanted to tarnish his reputation."

"And the girl's family?"

"Were devastated, father paid them heavily in compensation though I remember he once told my mother that no matter how much he gave it would never be enough because the death of one's child was one of the most painful things." He paused. "How is mother faring with this news of Kahmun. I haven't seen her since I woke up."

"She grieves but turns her attention to Ramses. I think she sees a little of Kahmun in him."

"I want to see him...I want to be there for him."

"Then get up, get changed. And you must tell me about Kahmun and Sabaf."

He grinned remembering the first time he found them together, half dressed and oblivious to the rest of the world. Ahkmenrah had been too young then to understand what they had been doing but, grown up now he wished he hadn't known. For some reason he felt a burst of warmth within him at the memory, shouldn't it fill him with sadness? 

He touched his heated neck, feeling the slight prickle of hair. He hadn't shaved in a while.

"Should I take it off?" he asked scratching his chin turning his face into the sunlight so Sabra could better the beginnings of his beard.

"I think it looks rather comely." 

—————

Shepseheret heard the door creak from the nursery she turned to see her gaunt unkempt and tired son accompanied by Sabra.

"Ramses," he said simply. "Can I hold him?"

"If you can get past Kovu."

Kovu? That's right. He had forgotten about the pet lion that his cousin Ramses has kept.

As he approached the lion cub stirred, Kovu's golden eyes stared at him languidly before they closed again. Ahkmenrah took that as consent to hold his nephew. He reached out carefully and scooped up the little baby in his arms and held him close to his chest.

The child had been asleep but now he stirred slightly, his little mouth opened to give small yawn before his eyes opened a little. The child's features held the beauty of Ismara's, but his eyes were the fierce stormy darkness of Kahmunrah's.

As soon as Ramses saw his uncle, he fixed him with a stare. Ahkmenrah kissed his cheek. The baby's skin was soft, like lily petals. 

"I just want you to know." Said Ahkmenrah. "That you are loved and one day you are a going to grow big and strong just like your father."

The child regarded him with a confused expression.

"I know I know," continued Ahkmenrah, thinking he had gone positively crazy talking to a baby like it could understand him. "You miss them. I miss them too. Sometimes it might be a little lonely, but I'll be here for you. I'll try to be here as long as I can, I'll guide you every step of the way. We'll make them proud and we'll do it together."

The child outstretched his tiny arm, and his little fingers (they even had little fingernails) clasped on to his nose, causing his nostrils to close together. Ahkmenrah couldn't help but smile. Ramses smiled back. That smile, the King noted, was also Kahmunrah's. Yet the child still kept Ahkmenrah's nose firmly in his grasp.

"He's got spirit this one." Said Ahkmenrah turning to the two women in the room, his voice coming out rather nasally.

Sabra was suppressing laughter while Shepseheret was almost in tears.

"That was his first smile." She whispered.

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ANOTHER ONE! How was it, my lads? Also, I am curious, what direction do you think this will head in?

- Sargun