I don't feel so good Mr.Donkey (Shrek x Donkey Fanfic)

Don't

The gun fell from Shrek's hands, tears pouring off his cheeks. "Donkey- Senpai, I mean Kun. What are you doing here?"

"Don't do it Shrek! I know you just shot everyone, including my wife, but that's no reason to kill yourself!" Donkey yelped, swallowing the bullet. "Wait, what...?" Shrek asked. "I killed Dragon and Fiona?" He looked surprised. He couldn't remember slaughtering them, but then again, he couldn't remember shooting up that third orphanage last week... Unfortunately the police could, but that's a different story.

Donkey shrugged. "Yo, whatever's, lmao am I right?" He laughed. "Bitch was just my wife after all. I mean, can't trust em'." He added nonchalantly. "So how are you?"

The dreaded question. Shrek wanted to say he was okay, but he really wasn't. He had always loved Donkey, but stupid Fiona had gotten in the way. So upset by the audacity of this question, Shrek ran away. Donkey tried to stop, him but Shrek was a strong and empowered ogre and wouldn't stop for any hoes.

Shrek ran into the local Hot Topic, eyes falling to the employee.

"What do you want?" The angsty teen groaned. Just before Shrek could respond, the teenager added to this. "Wait... You're that guy who's been shooting up the town." He paused, Shrek nodding nonchalantly; as if it was nothing. "Cool." The angst lord said before pulling up his phone again- probably on Tumblr. Fucking emo.

After Shrek stood there, not moving for long enough, the employee looked up again. "Jesus fucking Christ, what are you still doing here? You perving on me?" He snapped, his emo hair flipping from his face.

"Can you please just help me get a totally stereotypical emo makeover? I'm going through a really tough time right now and, just..." Shrek snapped, sobbing his eyes out again. "Fine, yeesh..." The edge-lord employee groaned. He stood up, walking out the back. "Follow me..."

Around an hour later, Shrek emerged from the store; a truely changed ogre. His long hair as dark as his soul flew over his face. His traditional Sunday vest had been exchanged for a leather jacket with a Fall Out Boy t-shirt, his patched pants now ripped skinny jeans (pitch black of course).

He turned back to the broken store front, giving a nod to the formerly living employee who had asked for him to pay for the makeover. Moron. He walked off as his hand clutched tighter to the bag of goodies for further in the story.

Donkey sat on the path, gorging himself on the corpses laying around the town from Shrek's outrage. "Heya Shrek! Wanna munch on freshly roasted corpses together?" Donkey enthused.

This mule who had broken his heart, destroyed his dreams. Was asking to munch on corpses together?

"Sure!" Shrek chirped before trotting over. I mean, who could say no to eating humans? Donkey would have grinned in response, but his snout was already too deep into this persons eye socket. Shrek took a leg, licking the toe seductively, making Donnkey blush.

"Shrek-Kun... what are you doing to me?" Donkey moaned. Shrek swallowed the leg whole before belching it out. "Everyone had to die." Shrek replied in a flirtatious tone. "Wait... What?" Donkey asked, confused.

With this, Shrek ate Donkey. Donkey had no time to protest. With one bite, Shrek's jaw unhinged from his skull. His throat pipes stretched enough like elastic, his stomach lining preparing to boil the mule alive.

"Whoopsies... tee hee hee." Shrek giggled, blushing before commando rolling home, truely satisfied.