☤ Pseudonym ☤

~Chapter Three~

Fred and George did manage to keep me preoccupied most days. They would plan extravagant pranks to play on Ron whilst Mrs Weasley forced us to clean the house. 

It was during the first week of August that things began to happen. First Sirius, Ron and Hermione received letters from Harry detailed his encounter with a couple of dementors. I wondered if he knew that they were all living together at Sirius' childhood home. There was a tremendous amount of worry provoked by his situation and in a few days several aurors, also known as the Advance Guard, were sent out to fetch him back here. 

I was not informed at all about the Order meetings that went on frequently in the kitchen. This was not surprising as I was an ex-death-eater and also underage. But I did manage to find out small pieces of information with Fred and George as they placed their extendable ears by the door. The motion to let me join their spying missions was greatly disaproved by Ginny. However, she was outnumbered by her older brothers who drowned out her opinions. 

We first alerted to someone's arrival by the incessant screaming of Walburga Black, who started shouting the minute the door opened. Ron, Hermione and I were relaxing in his room. Hermione was reading a book, as was I, and Ron was. Well I am not quite sure what he was doing. 

It was the door creaking open that caught out attention. At once Hermione leapt to her feet and tackled the entrant. 

"Harry!" she shouted as she threw her arms around him. "Are you alright?" Ron also got up to greet his best friend. I wasn't quite sure how things were with Harry and I, and I felt a bit awkward intruding on their reunion. "You must tell us everything."

"Let the man breathe, Hermione." Ron said with a smile. 

She frowned at Ron before continuing, "And this hearing at the Ministry! It's just outrageous! I've looked it up -- they simply can't expel you." 

Harry walked further into the room, dropping his bags on the floor. Suddenly he noticed me. 

"Hi Harry." I said quietly.

"Hi Renn." he smiled at me and I felt myself relax a little. He turned back to his friends and glanced around the room, "So, what is this place?" 

"It's headquarters." Ron answered. 

"Of the Order of the Phoenix." Harry looked a little confused.

"It's a secret society --" I explained, "Dumbledore first formed it when they fought Voldemort."

"You couldn't have put any of this in a letter, I suppose?" Ron looked a Hermione sheepishly, "I've gone all summer without a scrap of news."

"We wanted to write, mate. Really, we did. Only..." 

"Only what?" Harry was starting to get angry.

"Only Dumbledore made us swear not to tell you anything."

Harry looked shocked, "Dumbledore said that? B...but why would he want to keep me in the dark? I mean, maybe I could help. After all, I'm the one who saw Voldemort return; I'm the one who fought him; I'm the one who saw Cedric Diggory get killed." his voice was growing louder by the second.

A pang echoed in my heart at he mention of Cedric. I had been grieving heavily all summer. Some days I just lay in bed; unable to find the energy to leave it. Mrs Weasley knew to leave me be on these days. Cedric had brought me out of the darkness. Dean had provided me the light, the hope that sustained the possibility of change, but Cedric was the one who held my hand along the way. Without him I felt lost. I felt numb. Sometimes I would pinch myself just to make me feel something. I would scratch my arms until the skin broke and small dots of red appeared. 

Harry twisted to face me. "Is he using you instead? His source of information. His little death-eater." I flinched at his malicious tone, but I knew that it was just pent up anger and stress that was being released. I tried not to take anything to heart. "The dark princess herself. How can he trust you more than me!" 

His words cut deep into me. The worst part is that it is what everyone was thinking. Why does Dumbledore trust? Who's to say that I won't flip and tell Voldemort everything? 

A loud pop was heard, "Harry." Fred and George appeared behind him. "Thought we heard your dulcet tones."

"Don't bottle it up, though, mate. Let it out." said Fred, after spending so much time with the twins I had begun to be able to tell them apart. Though I found it difficult on days such as this when they had decided to wear exactly the same clothes. "There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn't hear you."

"Anyway, if you're all done shouting..."

"Do you want to hear something a little more interesting?" said Fred, holding up the fleshy pink ears. 

The door opened again. Ginny walked in, a bright smile erupted on her face as she saw who had arrived. "Oh, hello, Harry! I thought I heard your voice." she then looked at Fred and George, "It's no-go with the Extendable Ears, she's gone and put an Imperturbable Charm on the kitchen door."

I returned to my book, War of the Worlds, The. It seemed quite fitting for this period in time. 

Finally they stopped their chatter when Mrs Weasley calls us down for dinner. 

"Can you tell her that I'm gonna head to bed early." I asked George. He nodded, now used to my frequent skipping of meals, or any kind of big gathering. It was too much to see the intrigued stares, whether they were friendly or not. Mad-Eye Moody was particular cynic who refused to trust someone who had been in league with the man who had impersonated him and kept him trapped in a chest for a year. 

Harry's eyes swivelled to watch me as I went across the hall to my room. I knew he felt guilty for what he said, but I wasn't quite ready to forgive him.