Zombiefied

Morning in your cup

Author's note: Influenced by Zombie comedies on Webtoons as well as my recent viewing of Happy Death Day. Subversion of scifi-horror tropes is tight!

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"Most people don't believe something can happen until it already has." World War Z

Walking into that coffee shop wasn't originally my idea.

I should have known something was wrong when the last song the car radio finished with was, "It's the end of the world as we know it and we all feel fine..."

You see out of all my friends, I was the only one was up til now that was a virgin to the taste of Starbucks coffee, so last night during our weekly sleepover, that I hosted by the way at my house, it was my choice to pick dare in truth or dare that led to me being here about to order a cup of caramel macchiato.

Having to pick between answering who my crush in school was or a dare involving drinking coffee for the first time, drinking coffee seemed the safer option at the time.

At the time, my crush was one of Lisa's exes and I was not going to get caught up in a cat-fight at my own house at 1 am in the morning.

A sudden BEEP BEEP reminded me to order quick, but choosing to come during lunch hour meant a long line and I knew that Tina, the resident coffee aficionado, aptly named by her parents after Tina Turner, was at the wheel, probably hollering what she had yelled to me as I was getting out of the car. "Adrianne! You better be back 'pronto or hell hath no fury like a black woman without her daily expresso!"

Spanish classes seemed to be working out alright, at least on her. Which was ironic as I was Hispanic and could barely squeak manageable sentences that didn't make my relatives cringe. Well, that's what comes from being born in the mainland and having parents who thought that speaking English would make us feel 'American'.

"Its hell hath no fury like a women scorned", Lisa, our relationship expert, as she had the most experience in boyfriends out of all of us girls, replied back.

Tina responded, "Whatever. Just get back here ASAP", as she snapped her free fingers in short succession. This girl drove with one hand on the wheel...and I somehow trusted her. Figures.

"Ooo...um...could you maybe...umm...get me the...", Emica mumbled as she tried to make up her mind.

Tina shouted, "Emica! My coffee is gonna get cold if you don't make up your mind soon enough!"

"Fine," Emica, our resident makeup guru as well as a current Japanese exchange student, said, "Get me a black tea...with no sugars."

"Did you have to take all that time to decide what you wanted to order? That's the same thing you said last time!", commented Sara, the group's fashionista. With her natural long eyelashes, straight hair and sun-burnt skin, anything could look good on her. The dress she was currently rocking I had tried on last night and made me like an overblown trash bag, but I guess that what came with being a Native American goddess.

As for me, I needed to skimp on the chips if I was going to fit into my prom dress anytime soon.

Anyways, that morning, I tried to order my first cup of coffee, but unfortunately, when I went to pick up my tray filled to the brim with coffees, someone cut in line and grabbed it first.

"Excuse me. This is mine," I growled at the same time that the attendant said, "Sir, go and wait your turn in line, please."

"ERRRRUGH!", the person moaned back and my eyes widened in horror at seeing them chug down my macchiato.

"Dude! What the actual...I mean, what in the world?", I said, catching myself before I swore.

Afterall, There were children in this establishment.

Out of nowhere, another person from the back of the coffee shop rushed towards the counter only to be stopped by another attendant.

"Y'all need to calm down...", the attendant said right before the zombie bit into his flesh and all chaos broke loose.

Someone used their morning baguette and swung it at another affected neighbor. I ducked as coffee drinks spilled over the air and the battle for coffee commenced between the infected and non-infected.

"Run for your lives!", the remaining attendant shouted as a bunch of coffee zombies that I recognized as college students piled on top of him.

I, however, wasted no time before taking the rest of my tray and skedaddling out of there with those people at my heels.

Hurrying to get to the car, I paused at the crosswalk waiting for it to turn green when I smacked my forehead and realized that rules don't apply in the apocalypse so I better run faster!

By the time I reached the other side of the street, Emica seemed to be doing some interpretative dance with her fingers so I took that as a playful signal to get my butt back there as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, I was wrong because as I reached the car and opened the door, what remained of Lisa roared and Emica yelled, "GET out of here!"

"But Emica...what about Tina and you?"

"Tina will be fine...she went to get coffee from Starbucks herself. My seat-belt is stuck so you go and get help!"

"I just came back from Starbucks...I know! I'll get help!", I answered and turned to walk away.

That would be the last time I saw Emica alive. Before I knew it, she had hit the accelerator and sped into a curb, crashing the car into a pole.

The thing is I used to live in a normal world 'til coffee turned people into ravage beasts.

My biggest regret is that the apocalypse happened without me taking a drink and now I have to survive coffee zombies and live to tell the tale...

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Author's note: To be updated sporadically-this is my fun humor story as opposed to my more serious stories or my passion project-GEAR Universe so it will be updated probably once a month at most.