Us Against The World ｡ Peter Parker [2]

50 - Chasing Cars

There was a confused look in Harry's eyes, almost like he was trying to rack his brain for information about the horrible events that had unfolded because of him. But apparently, nothing was left inside his mind. Harry cleared his throat. "Gwen died because of me, didn't she?" he asked and the question left my breathless.

Peter couldn't even look at his best friend. "She died because of Green Goblin."

Harry blinked back tears. "Which is pretty much me, isn't it? I killed her."

A soft cry almost fell from my lips and I moved to his bedside. Despite everything, the horrible truth that was now doused within the room, this boy was still bruised and broken and in pain. Despite wearing the villain's face, he was not Green Goblin. The boy lying in bed and crying was our Harry Osborn. "It wasn't you, Harry."

"It was," he cried. "It was me."

Peter joined my side, dabbing at his eyes with his hoodie sleeve. His hand reached his Harry's, making sure to hold him tightly. "Gwen Stacy was a hero. She scarified herself to save Mary Jane and Florence. She put herself into danger to save the ones she loved. In a way, she saved you too, Harry, because we've got you back. She died a hero and that's how we will remember her. Okay? You didn't kill her, that was the monster inside of you. A monster we've gotten rid of now. Do you understand, Harry?"

Harry's chin wobbled with a fresh wave of tears. "How do I live with myself?"

I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his forehead. "Baby steps, Harry Osborn."

***

Lunch times were the worst without Gwen Stacy. Weirdly enough, she was some sort of glue that held us all together, the very person that made our hearts a little fuller for an hour each day. I had grown so used to seeing her laughing about something mundane and kissing Flash Thompson on the cheek as he boasted about something stupid. I had grown so used to always having her by my side, that without her, it felt unnatural.

"How is Harry?" Mary Jane questioned quietly, pushing around her cold meal. Her red hair was pulled off her face with a black headband, one that I knew once belonged to Gwen. Quite sweetly, Mary Jane had found her own way of keeping Gwen with her at all times. Much like the ring I had threaded through a necklace that rested on my heart. 

I blew out a sigh. "He's...broken and bruised. Like all of us. You should go see him."

Mary Jane shook her head. "I don't think I'm ready for that."

"I didn't think I was ready to see him," I replied. "But it turned out alright."

My sweet redhead gave a little smile, maybe considering my words, while a few extra faces arrived at our table. Michelle Jones was laughing at something Ned Leeds had mumbled, Clayton Cole was sulking because Indie Monroe had out smarted him again, Flash Thompson ignored the conversions around him and Peter dropped into the free seat next to me. He pressed his lips to my cheek and my own lips pulled up into a smile. Without thinking, I pushed my untouched fries in his direction and he dipped one into a puddle of ketchup. 

Even with our tiny band of friends, it still felt lonely without one. 

"Are you...like crushing on this marching band girl?" Michelle asked with a loud laugh, eyes pinned to Clayton who had gone a horrible shade of red. We all joined in on her harmless teasing. "I totally knew it. You're not some cold bad boy! You're just this soft teddy bear who's madly in love with--"

Suddenly, Flash Thompson was slamming his tray onto the table. Food went everywhere, juice even splashing Mary Jane's blouse. He glared across at us, something painful screaming in his eyes. "How can you all just sit there laughing and pretending?" he demanded. "Gwen is gone and you all are acting like it doesn't even matter."

Peter jumped first. "Flash, come on--"

"Shut up, Penis Parker." Flash hissed across at him. "Do none of you even care she died? Does anyone even notice that she's not here somedays? Because I notice every second of the day and it kills me inside. She was your friend and you act like it's completely nothing."

Mary Jane sucked in a deep breath. "Of course we care, Flash. How dare you."

Flash shook his head, pain dripping from his poison filled words. "None of you deserved her." His words left a hole in my heart because sometimes it was true. We didn't deserve Gwen Stacy, she was everything more than me, but she had been the one to lose her life so young. Quickly, Flash was pushing away from our table and leaving in a storm. Our entire table was deadly quiet. 

I was already turning to grab my backpack, ready to rush after Flash and make sure he wasn't about to do something stupid. But Peter was getting to his feet first, casting a glance in my direction. "Don't worry, I've got this." 

"Are you sure? Because--"

Peter nodded. "It's something that I've gotta' do. Flash deserves the truth." 

"Okay, make sure he's alright. He really loved her." I told him quietly.

He gave a sad smile. "We all did."

***

Sunlight poured through my balcony windows one late afternoon, warming my skin. I had dumped my textbooks and loose paper from classwork all over my bedroom floor. Packets of chips and candy wrappers laid among the mess, but it was a pleasant afternoon. Peter Parker was flat out on his stomach with a pen in his mouth as he scribbled out some calculations for his overdue homework. Although we weren't lab partners any longer, we still found a peace just studying together. 

"You know, this kinda' reminds me of old times." I randomly mentioned, glancing away from my homework and sending him a whisper of a smile. 

Peter tilted his head to the side. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, how we were forced to be lab partners and you hopelessly fell in love with me." 

He choked out a laugh. "I think it was the other way around."

"You're mistaken, Parker." 

Peter scurried to his feet, pushing away his homework. Without a word, he scooped me into his arms and tickled me mercifully. My laughter carried into the warm air, my breathing heavy as I tried to wiggle away from him. Paper crumbled up under our bodies but in that very moment, we didn't even care. "I'm pretty sure it was you falling in love with me. Little Miss Prissy Florence who hated me. Oh, how your walls crumbled. Does that story sound familiar?" Peter asked, fingertips jabbing into the soft skin of my waist.

"Okay, okay, okay, you win." I gushed out in-between my laughter. When my breathing finally slowed down, Peter plonked down next to me. Our heads were touching, our bodies faced in opposite directions as the the afternoon sunlight graced us. 

Peter finally spoke, breaking the sweet and quiet moment. "I really miss her, you know?"

I stared up at my ceiling, my heart aching a little bit more. "Me too."

"I really miss when everything wasn't so complicated," Peter went on. "When you could go around pretending to hate my guts and not having crazy visions. Life was simple when it was just us and no weird spider connections or best friends turning into villains. Do you ever wish you could go back and do it all again, but differently?" 

Sometimes, usually late at night, I would think about that question. Slowly, I rolled onto my stomach and looked at him. From my position next to him, I let my finger trace the frown that was deep on his forehead. "Sometimes. But then we wouldn't be here right now. We wouldn't be us and the world would be completely different and maybe that different would be better, or maybe not, but it wouldn't be our world. Despite everything, the bad and the good, I like this one. Don't you, Peter Parker?"

He was quiet for a moment. "I like this one too."

Suddenly, his phone was ringing and he let out a long sigh. "It's Aunt May. She wants eggs."

My fingers laced around his wrist, pulling him back down to the carpet. "Please, Spider-Kid, stay here for just a little longer? Just lay here, please? And we can forget the world for just a little longer?"

Peter sunk back to the carpet, this time kissing my lips in a soft touch. "Okay. Let's just lie here and forget the world. For a little while longer at least, Florence Parsons."