Thrills ⋆ Harry Osborn

⊳ 𝐱𝐢𝐱. Upward Climb

          That was surely a sign of a shitty friend, right? That was surely a sign that she didn't deserve Sabrina and that she should just be left behind, left to crumble some more because she focused too much on herself rather than anyone else.

          Because she was Antoinette Alderson, the princess of her family who was expected to play her part in the family perfectly. A power hungry gaze, a deceptive smile, a narcissistic attitude and a willingness to do whatever she needed to get exactly what she wanted. That was supposed to be her, and maybe sometimes it was. But she didn't want to just be that, she wanted to be Toni who hung out with Sabrina, who was so carelessly herself on Cloud Nine, and that wasn't her right now. She wasn't that, and she hated that she allowed herself to fall back into exactly what an Alderson was supposed to be rather than what she wanted to be.

          She wasn't Antoinette; she was Toni, and it was time she started acting like that again.

          "I don't see why it's such a huge deal," Harry leaned into her, his blond hair tousled and not refined, the way it usually was, but now in the direct sunlight it seemed more apparent. "She's your friend."

          Toni huffed at him. He had absolutely no idea about her internal crisis. In theory? Maybe, yeah, it's as easy as breathing, but in practice it was hard because she had to communicate exactly how she felt into words for Sabrina to understand instead of the turmoil ripping her apart inside.

          "I know she is," Toni snapped, because she honestly couldn't help herself when he said something like that, "But I want her to understand. I don't just want to unload this all onto her and make it seem like her fault because it's not. It's mine and my stupid head's and I need her to see that. Besides...I'm not the best with words."

          She sheepishly admitted the last part, turning to the boy who probably knew that more than anyone. Well, maybe not, because it wasn't like she told him the meaning behind her harsh words especially after she realized the whole feelings thing, but it was there and he definitely caught it more than anyone.

          Whether he knew it or not, probably not, he nodded anyway. "Then write her a letter."

          Toni snorted. "Yeah, like we're in the 1800s. I don't think so."

          "Text?"

          "This is too personal for a text," she shook her head, "Fuck, I thought you were supposed to have good advice. Wasn't that your thing? You promised to not judge me and give me advice about my fucking problems."

          Harry shrugged at her, and for a moment she wondered how she had gotten there. One moment she never wanted to see him and the next they were sharing conversations like they had been friends for years. It felt wrong to give so much of her secrets to him, but it felt easier than telling Atlas or even Sabrina because they were still impersonal with each other.

          "I told you I would give you advice, never said it was good," Harry corrected her, "Besides, I've never gotten in a fight like this was a friend...never really had friends before to do that with."

          It felt like he punched the air right out of her with that, and she had to look away. Of course he had friends, she had seen so many pictures of him hanging out with people – famous and not – so he had to have had friends. Yet, did she really know him well enough to know that for sure? She hung out with plenty of people she wasn't friends with. Betty and Cindy were prime examples of that.

          So maybe he didn't, and maybe Midtown was his first experience with real friendships and rivalries turned friendships, and it made Toni feel guilty for expecting him to solve all her problems.