you've always had bad social skills. which probably lead to all the bullying you constantly received when you were in public schools.
you don't know why you're like this. everyone else in your family is outgoing and charismatic. yet, here you are shying away from your goddamn babysitter.
you were still very upset your dad hired a babysitter for you, i mean, who wouldn't be?
though, he can cook really good bacon. thats a plus you suppose.
given his enormous amount of tries to talk to you, you still can't find your courage. you defiantly would admit he's a very attractive boy. and having him stay at your house almost everyday a week with you was almost appealing.
even though you say this, you know deep in your heart that you will never have a chance with him. boys aren't usually attracted to you, no matter what amount of effort you put into your appearance.
you were sitting in the livingroom on your phone while finn was sitting across from you on the other couch, simply just staring at you. you didn't like it. it made you feel insecure, so you crossed your arms over your stomach.
you looked up at him and raised a brow and finn took a deep breath.
"look, your dad told me you were really shy, but you have to give me something. it'll only be easier for both of us if you talk to me." he says quickly, like the only was he could breathe was to say what was on his mind.
you nod, still not muttering a word. how on earth were you supposed to reply? you had a feeling finn was going to get tired of you not talking soon; he seemed really impatient to begin with.
what are you supposed to say? what if you can't keep the conversation going? what if he thinks you're weird? what if he has a foot fetish?
you close your eyes. why are you so scared of rejection all the time? why can't you be carefree and simple?
you open your eyes slowly and look over at finn who's fiddling with his thumbs. he looks so precious. the way his jet black hair hung in front of his eyes and a small smile naturally sculpted on his lips. you decided he was right and it would be best if you talked to him.
you swallowed the lump in your throat, and took action.
"my names y/n," you say quietly.
finns head snapped up at you, his eyes slightly widening. he cleared his throat, "my names finn- wait, y-you already know that. uhm, pretty cool name," finn says awkwardly, scratching the back of his head.
you giggle, at least you're not the only awkward one here. you look up at him and his face was turning a light shade of pink. you should be the one blushing, not him.
"i- uh, i don't actually need a babysitter," you say lamely. really y/n? that's the best you can come up with? you silently scold yourself.
"i figured," finn laughs ," your dad seemed to really not trust you though."
you rolled your eyes. what have you ever done wrong? you've never done anything to make your dad not trust you. you've tried your best, what else can you do?
"i don't know why," you say after a few moments of silence.
finn shrugs, then looks down at his knees. he really was pretty.
"how old are you?" you ask, sparking up conversation.
"uh, seventeen.", he tells you.
"seriously? you're only a year older than me and he chose you as my babysitter?" you say with annoyance in your tone.
"well actually, the only reason i was hired was because of my dad. they're coworkers and your dad always complained about leaving you at home. so my dad offered me to come and like hang out with you or something while your dad was away. but your dad took that as a baby sitting gig, i guess." he informs you.
"i seriously wonder what horrible trauma my father has been through to think his sixteen year old daughter, needs a babysitter" you say, not particularly to finn.
"well, i'm homeschooled so it beats not having to be at home all day by myself," he says, and then with a smile, "plus, i get paid to hangout with a pretty girl all day."
you look down not sure what to say. you don't think it was the right time to say thank you, because he might've been kidding.
there you go again, your mind was constantly all over the place. you used to be carefree and not care what other people say or think. being alone your whole life doesn't really help keeping that trait though.
