I'm Only Human

Chapter One - Fake Reality and Demons

He lay there unintended to nothing but his mind. He pondered if it were actually worth it; worth talking to him. Why is it so special? Fuck, it shouldn't be. He's just a boy. He thought. He placed his sweaty palms against his faint blush face. The warmth and comfort of his soft sky blue blankets made him melt into this fake reality. The heat of the room cuddled against his bare skin, sending all the right comforts to keep his mind wondering. 

I shouldn't be obsessed over a boy. I should be more focused on school work. Why, oh dear god why?  His mind was screaming at him. He's a friend, not a lover. 

Groaning, he shifts to his left side, breathing heavily into his flattened pillow. His eyes stared blankly ahead of him, fading back into his rambling thoughts. 

You are so fucking gay, why are you so gay? You should know nobody is going to like you because of that? His demons shouted. Sighing, he agrees with the demons. The words melted into his skin, feeling as if he was no longer worth it. The comfort feeling was slowly fading, and a new burning sensation started to flood through. blinking away the stinging tears that were resting against the corners of his eyelids, he hazily looked upon the clock. It read 3:30 am. 

You're just going to be miserable tomorrow morning, and it's all your fault. He didn't care, he just wanted to think about him. 

He turned onto his backside, resting his arms above his head. He stared at the ceiling, inhaling a deep and breathy sigh. His vision faded into the black emptiness that surrounded his room, entering something other than the real reality he was supposed to be in. 

... 

It was the way his face curved at the right angle, and his cute rounded nose was placed against his face just right. His eyes; oh his beautiful gleaming eyes. They shined a bright grey as if they were the moon. His creamy blonde hair rested against his pale forehead perfectly. Almost too perfect. When he talked to me, his voice hypnotized me into a trance. 

Stop being gay for two seconds, it's disgusting. His demons protested. It was almost as if he could hear his bullies voice. His voice pulsing in the rivers of his boiling blood. Anger swept away his comfort, throwing it into the cage from which it came. 

All you are is gay, you shouldn't be here you stupid homo. He heard echoing through his mind. 

Gay

Is there anything wrong with being gay? Isn't it just love?  I didn't know love was such a crime, I didn't know it had to be like that just because it's the same sex. He thought to himself. His demons never answered back, he just lay there silently and blank-minded. 

Away he went, slowly shutting his heavy eyelids and drifting away into the same place he always falls in when he's this drained.