On A Cloud

never have i ever

There's a difference between causation and correlation as Chaeyoung's eleventh grade biology teacher once demonstrated ever so gracefully with a study that showed some sort of relationship between a high number of ice cream sales during the summer as well as an increase in violent crime.

"Violent crime isn't caused by ice cream sales nor is violent crime a segue to enjoying a fudgesicle," he had explained, evoking laughter from the few teens still conscious midway through his lecture, "rather, it is a correlation. Neither one causes the other but both are connected through the fact that heat motivates both anger that leads to violence and the hunger that makes one desire ice-cream."

To many, it seemed that the difference was obvious and didn't require such a straightforward explanation. Even Chaeyoung back then had tilted her head in wonder of why he felt the need to highlight it in the middle of his ramble. But now, as she squints her eyes from the blaring sun, one hand leveled with her forehead to shade her face, watching Jungkook framed between the spaces of her fingers, she wonders if there's a correlation between his teeth-bearing smile and how her heart feels uneasy (was that the right word? She couldn't think of anything more appropriate) every time she sees it.

He's changed noticeably. From the seemingly endless cycle of life-endangering escapades, possibly. But also in the way he doesn't seem to get upset over the little things anymore, like over the loud guard dog two blocks from Chaeyoung's house that always takes him by surprise as it makes futile attempts to headbutt it's way through the fence whenever Jungkook passes by or the one linguistics teacher that often smacked her gum loudly in the midst of her lessons. It's a shocking revelation because one - this is Jeon Jungkook, the kid who once duct taped a boy's mouth shut in sixth grade because he kept stuttering in between sentences, and two - it's astounding how he can keep his calm when they're practically getting baked by the sun over their heads.

"Any word from your parents?" she asks, pretending not to be utterly bothered by the sun's glare.

"Yeah. They're hiding away in another city for a while."

"For how long?"

"As long as it takes to figure out how to pay their debt."

Chaeyoung's expression is awfully pained, even more so, Jungkook guesses, than when she had slipped out of the hospital bed for the first time. He can't help but feel guilty for dragging her into these familial affairs, loading her head with anxieties that really don't and shouldn't concern her. But it's far from late now. The sharks know who she is and it's his goddamned fault for letting his grief override the logical part of his mind that should have locked Chaeyoung in a closet before pursuing Nugget on his own.

"Is there really no other way?"

"Not one where we make it out alive," he says with an unsettlingly nonchalant shrug, because this morbid way of living has become such a norm to him that he's become accustomed to assuming and accepting the worst.

She heaves an exasperated sigh. "Is there any way the authorities can help? Like if we report them to the police or have them escort your parents or—"

"These are gangs we're talking about, Chaeng. They're scattered all around the country. When one goes down, they huddle up to kick the shit out of the person who put their buddy there. The only way to get out of this is to pay them back."

"You say that like it's so easy. Have you forgotten that both your parents are miles away from their jobs, barely have the qualifications to find other work and you just trashed their van and burned their money. They're not just going to want you to pay back your own debt, they'll kill you anyway for what they lost."