You're It. You're My Person

Compromising with myself

I had this dream once. It was short and sweet, and got right to the point.

In the dream I looked at him from across a room. I watched him smile that effortless, breath taking smile at the girl who was beyond perfection as he handed her a drink. I watched him lean in close and whisper something that made her laugh, In turn making my heart burn. The loom between the two of them could make a virgin blush.

I shopped my tasteless drink and couldn't help but stare, feelings myself crush and break as he broke away and walked over to me with a pleased look that forces me to look away. " Don't be mad.." He starts.

Though everytime he starts a sentence that way I never get mad, I just get sad. I feel every ounce of sadness I told myself to forget when we had the conversation of never being together. I know him. I know what women he likes, his favorite shampoo and food. I even know his favorite rapper. Why is it though, that even though I already know he'll never choose me, I always feel myself break just a little bit more?

"Her name is Katrina. She's got an apartment just up the road. Mind taking my car back and I'll walk there in the morning?" My soul was crushed. It felt as though all the air had been forced from my lungs and yet I smiled. "Yeah, for sure. Just uh.. promise to be safe. "

My words. A sentence forced from my lips as he beamed at me and kissed mg cheek.  "Love you. " Then he was gone. Just like that and he had no clue of the war going on inside.