Ambitions

A bad beginning

I walked down the winding stairs from the third floor. I was heading for the kitchen. If I was going toe to toe with the woman who raised me there was no way that I would do it on an empty stomach. So I made the decision to have breakfast before I faced her. I think that I will make some food for lunch as it is quite likely that she will request my leaving this house.

I began to make a mental note of what I would say to her.

First I would start by saying something nice, possibly about whatever outfit she decided to wear, but I would not compliment her figure that would only make the situation worse. Next I will tell her to sit down I needed to talk to her than after she sat and possibly had a coffee I would then jump into my issues. Just as I tried to formulate exactly what I would say I reached kitchen I was brought to a sudden stop by a voice.

"Hello, Annabella" That voice a cold emotionless voice; it could only be one person. I turned and faced the woman sitting at the kitchen table.

Turning toward her I say "Hello Mother" so softly that it was almost inaudible.

She looked me up and down, nothing with particular disgust at my choice of clothing, I was still in my slip and bath robe, shaking my head I think that I should have taken the time to get dressed.  Although; I had planned on having a shower and presenting myself in a respectable manner when I spoke to my mother. But as most things in my life do it didn't work out that way. Sighing softly to myself I look at my mother, she was completely decked out in her Sunday best. Closing my eyes I think to myself of cause it's Sunday, my mother goes to church every Sunday. I cussed myself at my complete slip of the mind.

Looking at my mother, I smile slightly as I say "You look beautiful this morning mother", seeing the look on her face I groan on the inside knowing that she's seen right through my facade.

"Yes well if you bothered to care about what the lord and your future husband would think of you, you too would put in the effort to look respectable".

"Yes mother" Mentally rolling my eyes I think that this was not going to plan. I was supposed to be standing up to her telling her how I felt not listening to her give yet another lecture about how I'm not up to standard. I walk over to the sink reaching up to the cupboard above for a bowl, as I hear my mother say.

"You will make sure that you're presentable for dinner tonight, we will be having some guests"

"Guests?" I ask turning around to look at my mother, the bowl in my hand.

"Yes. Guests." She said as a cunning smile spreads out across her face. "Lady Elizabeth and her husband Count Mayfare, Count Ferson will also be joining us, as will Count Mayfare's nephew"

"Mother no, Count Ferson is a vile repulsive man-"

She cut in saying "he is a wonderful man one that any woman would be lucky to wed"

I didn't know how to respond to what she said but my anger came to the surface I seethed at her "then why don't you marry him and leave me alone"

My mother actually smiled at me, it wasn't a comforting smile but one that brought a chill to my bones. "ah my dear daughter I will be rid of you soon, now go up to your room and find something to wear for tonight" she waved me away.

"I haven't eaten yet" I protested.

"You don't need to eat, you're already too big it's no wonder you don't have a husband yet. When I was your age I had been married for almost 10 years"

"Mother, that was an age ago people shouldn't have to get married if they don't want too"

"Leave now you have already disappointed me enough today. I don't want to see you again until dinner tonight" she stood and began to leave the room turning when she got to the threshold "You had better be presentable and you better not disappointment tonight"

"No we wouldn't want that now mother, would we"

My mother spun around and walked toward me so fast I could have sworn that she was going to strike me "you will hold your tongue tonight, you will be nothing but polite and you will entertain Count Ferson tonight, or you will no longer be welcome in this house" she looked at me as if waiting for an answer.

She didn't exactly ask me a question so I didn't answer her, which I knew was a mistake.

My mother spoke again "do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal" I answered.

Mother turned and left the kitchen muttering "what did I do to deserve a disappointment if a child..."

She continued to ramble about respect and everything. Way to go Anna I thought to myself as I walked back to my room way to stand up to her and not let her boss you around.  I twisted around the last few steps into my room yeah you really stood up to her didn't you? No you let her do exactly what she always does...bully you I mentally scolded myself.

After speaking to my mother I was left deflated, utterly deflated. Not only did I not get to express my feelings towards her and her preposterous ideas of what my life should be, but I had also agreed to attend her insane dinner party. But I still did as she requested of me. I went to my cupboard and chose an appropriate dress for tonight.