"Don't you dare try to blame this on me," he snapped, towering over me in his fury. I felt very small, but I held my ground, staring up into his dark glare. "It's not my fucking fault that you're too messed up in the head to fuck anyone."
He had done it.
He had said the words that he knew would hurt me, and there wasn't a hint of remorse to his expression. The tension in the room was almost palpable now, but my anger was deflating. I suddenly felt very empty, but I knew I had enough in me to say one last thing.
I got on my tiptoes so that I could look at Harry's face better. He was like a stone.
"I'm messed up?" I whispered quietly, yet I knew that every single person could hear in the silence of the once bustling room. "Because I wouldn't fuck anyone?"
"It's not my fault Seth messed you up," he spat again, but I felt like he was saying this to himself more than me now, as if he had to assure himself that it wasn't he who had done this to me. "You can't blame your problems on everyone else all the time, Alice! Fuck!"
"I'm not blaming anything on you!" I yelled suddenly, angry that he had even said that. Angry that he was being so cruel. Angry that he had even brought me here. It had become painfully obvious that, despite my hopes that things between us were becoming okay again--they really weren't.
"I'm done with you!" he finally snapped out. "I'm done with having to fucking worry about you all the time and I'm done with trying to pretend it's okay. Go the fuck home if you want! Get killed! Youknow that people are after you, but fuck it. Who cares? It's not like I care. I've got Aspyn anyway so why in the hell would I care about you?"
"Harry!" The indignant sound came from Louis, who was stalking forward with Zayn in tow. Niall and Liam remained behind, speaking lowly to Ed.
I felt like Harry had just slapped me across the face. The tears were already pooling in my eyes, and I felt utterly broken inside. How could he say that to me? How could he go from spending Christmas with me to telling me that he doesn't care?
"What the fuck are you--"
"I hate you." The words slipped past my lips quietly, but Zayn cut off what he was about to say, both he and Louis turning to stare at me as if I were crazy. Harry's eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?" he raised an eyebrow.
"I hate you so much," I mumbled sadly, shaking my head as I stared at the ground. The anger was still in my system, but it was simmering down. All I felt was pathetic, used, and depressed.
"Alice--"
"Just stop!" I cried out, my head whipping up to stare at him. He looked torn now. "I get it, okay? I'm messed up in the head! I'm not good enough for you! You don't care! I understand. You don't have to say anything else!"
"Alice, just fucking shut up for a minute!" Harry growled. I fell silent, shaking my head again. I couldn't look up at Harry. I was too upset. Too hurt. But his fingers lifted my chin, his gaze unwavering.
"Do you trust me?"
I frowned, utterly confused at his question. "W-what?"
"Do you trust me?" he repeated. It seemed so out-of-the-blue, but it had me thinking. Did I trust Harry? I couldn't be entirely sure. I obviously had to trust him on some level seeing as I was sleeping in his house and was under his protection, but there were several categories where I couldn't rely on Harry, purely because I didn't trust him in that sense.
"Yes and no," I voiced my internal dilemma, curious now as to what he wanted this information for, especially right now. My trust in him had nothing to do with what he had just said. It didn't matter if I could sleep next to him and feel safe--I couldn't let him in and feel the same way. But how did this apply to our situation?
